What a Mess
by Kyska
Summary: After the untimely death of his indispensable retainer, Sesshomaru finds it difficult to do the most menial tasks. Babysitting, cooking, cleaning…such things are beneath him. When things get out of hand, Sesshomaru decides he needs a maid.
1. Chapter 1

**What a Mess**

Chapter One

**A Suitable Replacement**

Sesshomaru stared dispassionately at Jaken's lifeless mutilated body. Of course he'd avenged the imp's death. It was fair payment for many years of service. And Jaken had died while protecting Rin from hunger-crazed youkai.

It seemed to be an increasingly common annoyance. Lesser youkai were going mad, killing everything in their path.

His thoughts were interrupted by his ward's loud wails and sobs. She had thrown herself over the imp. The girl was ruining yet another perfectly good kimono. He doubted his retainer's blood would wash out.

"Please, Sesshomaru-sama! You can't let Master Jaken die!" she cried.

He didn't bother telling the girl that he'd revived the toad with Tenseiga once already. Sesshomaru found explaining himself far too tiresome. "Come, Rin," he said as he walked away to where Ah Un stood sunning itself on the crest of a grassy knoll.

Sesshomaru didn't want to linger while the stench of death fouled the sweet summer air. He would have to make Rin bathe later he realized with an almost imperceptible frown. Something Jaken had always done.

Though he would certainly never admit it to anyone else, Sesshomaru was quite aware that he made a terrible father. It wasn't as though he'd had the best example. And she was human. And female. He was quite content to let her run around with sticks and leaves in her hair. Rin's grubby feet and sticky hands (how children managed to stay in a constant state of stickiness still confounded him) didn't bother him at all. But Jaken had insisted that as a ward of the great Lord of the West, she should always look her best. Sesshomaru supposed that made sense…if he'd ever let any of his peers actually _see_ the girl.

He knew she would follow. She always did. Sesshomaru heard her shuffling footsteps and sniffles. He also heard her grumbles that they should bury his deceased retainer. Did she expect him to get on his hand and knees and dig in the earth like a common domesticated dog? Fie on that!

Sesshomaru also knew she was resilient and would get over this setback quickly. He didn't want to tarry over the body of his old friend, and yes, in his own way, Sesshomaru had considered Jaken a friend. An equal? Sesshomaru scoffed. Hardly.

He left Rin as she clamored on to Ah Un's back, condensing into a ball of bright light. He zipped over the landscape, anxious to return home. Sesshomaru had been away for three years. He hoped the place wasn't too dusty.

**SSSS**

The skin under Sesshomaru's eye twitched once. Then twice. He heard a strange high-pitched whine. In horror, he realized he was making the noise. He immediately stopped.

His palace was a wreck. And that was putting mildly. Apparently, his guards and well-paid servants had thought he was never returning and had used the place to entertain.

Then they decided to never clean up and to rightfully disappear off the face of the earth. Sesshomaru vowed to find them, murder them non-too-gently, and then make a chair or something out of their bones.

A small tug on his empty left sleeve snapped him from his thoughts of dismemberment and slow torture.

"Sesshomaru-sama…this is…this is where you live?" Rin asked, her brown eyes impossibly wide.

He cleared his throat. "Yes."

The girl frowned. "It's messy."

"Hn."

She looked up at him, eyes red-rimmed from her crying. "Are you going to clean it up?"

He froze. What?

Sesshomaru's heated golden gaze scanned the damage. Shoji screens were ripped, the rugs had kami knew what on them, broken pottery littered the floor along with ominous piles of what he hoped wasn't dung, and the smell…he nearly gagged. It smelled like stale piss, vomit and something else. How could he be expected to clean this mess?

A thought occurred to him. "You shall clean this mess."

Rin took a faltering step backwards. "What? But…but…I'm just a little girl! And this is a big, big mess."

He sighed. A gradual headache was forming right between his eyes. Rin was right of course. He was already a fairly dismal father. He did let her get dragged into hell by a huge hell hound where she nearly died. He couldn't make her slave away in his filthy house.

No, he would have to do it himself. "Very well. This Sesshomaru will do it."

She gave him a gap-toothed smile. "I'll help you, Sesshomaru-sama."

After three long hours, not much progress had been made. He'd managed to drag all the rugs out into the courtyard where he promptly melted them. The stench made his eyes water.

Rin coughed and sputtered. "Master Jaken would've cleaned them," she pointed out, waving her small hand in front of her face.

"Hn."

Next he built a large bonfire.

Rin sat with her knees drawn up to her chest. "What are you going to do now, Sesshomaru-sama?"

"Burn the palace to the ground. Perhaps, I shall go live in a cave." His tone dripped with rage and disgust. His headache was almost unbearable.

She jumped to her feet. "No! Master Jaken would clean it! You can't burn down your home! Maybe…," she paused and chewed her lip. "Maybe you can get a maid!" Had he not been in such a foul temperament, he might have laughed at how the child had taken him seriously. Though, probably not.

He arched a brow at his ward. "Are you suggesting this Sesshomaru is not capable of cleaning his own home?"

He heard her swallow. "No! Of course not! I know you can do it, Sesshomaru-sama!"

"Go find a place to sleep that isn't covered in filth, Rin," he said, dismissing her with a wave of her hand.

She eyed the palace dubiously. "I think I'll go sleep in the stable with Ah Un."

"Hn."

After she was gone skipping off to the stable, Sesshomaru put his head in his hand and groaned.

**SSSS**

As dawn pinked the horizon, Sesshomaru had developed a grudging respect for Jaken. Indeed, he was a little in awe of the imp. _How did he managed this?_ Sesshomaru thought miserably as he scrubbed a particularly nasty stain on his once lacquered wood floors.

Well, the little bastard had both arms, didn't he? Sesshomaru paused in his drudgery. Both arms. Aha! Yet another thing he could somehow blame InuYasha and his miserable wench for. They should be the ones cleaning this mess.

A maid.

InuYasha's wench.

Tossing aside the wet soiled rag in disgust, Sesshomaru rose to his feet. A sly plan was forming in his mind. A plan where he could simultaneously get his palace in order, annoy his worthless half-brother, and torture his shrill woman.

Without another moment's hesitation, he bounded out of the great hall of his palace and took off in the direction of InuYasha's forest.

**SSSS**

Kagome gave the well the dirtiest look she could muster. "Okay, you bastard well, it's my eighteenth birthday, do you hear me? You have to let me go home. Really. It's been almost three years," she paused. "Please!"

Sucking in a deep breath, Kagome launched herself over the lip of the old Bone Eater's Well.

She landed with a thump and a shriek at the bottom. No swirling blue lights. No vertigo. No home.

But she did have a sprained ankle. "Ow!" she cried indignantly. It just wasn't fair.

It wasn't that she didn't love her new home in the feudal era, she did. Her friends were with her. But…ever since she and InuYasha had moved a step forward in their relationship two years ago, all she'd wanted to do was run away to her mother.

It had been her sixteenth birthday in this very spot at the bottom of the dry well. Only then, she'd been balling her eyes out as she realized she may never get to go home again. InuYasha had swooped down, gathered her in his arms, and kissed her in the rain. Really kissed her.

All those years of sexual tension came bubbling to the surface.

And the sex was terrible.

Her love for InuYasha had been…immature. And was promptly destroyed when the sweet fantasy became an awkward bumbling reality. She just didn't love him that way…and the feeling was mutual.

So, it only stood to reason that she'd want to go home and find a nice normal boy in which to continue her romantic life now that her heart was finally free to do so.

Too bad the well had other ideas.

She also had very little interest in men in the feudal era. All that talk of a "woman's place" really got on her nerves. Even poor Sango-chan had fallen for it. Everyone had been so certain she'd marry Miroku. They seemed perfect for each other.

But she picked a farmer instead, saying how she was down right sick of adventuring. That and Miroku's wandering eyes and hands weren't marriage material.

Now her dear friend who had been such a strong and powerful demon slayer was the wife of a farmer and the mother of two. It was cute and all, and Kagome entertained the idea of having kids someday, but maybe she wasn't done adventuring yet.

Men looked at her like she was an old maid already.

Kagome didn't bother yelling for InuYasha this time. He wasn't even in the village. In fact, she had no clue where he was. Ever since he'd lost his virginity to her, he'd bounded all over in search of some tail.

"He could've at least stopped by for my damn birthday," she grumbled as she hauled herself out of the well.

She limped towards the village, her ankle throbbing. Then she decided that she didn't feel like seeing anyone, so she headed to the hot spring instead to give her swelling ankle a much needed soak.

**SSSS**

The snake youkai held out his scaly hands, hissing in pleasure. Sesshomaru dropped several jewels the size of robin's eggs into the demon's waiting palm.

"Now," Sesshomaru began icily, "All you must do is frighten the wench. You must do it while she is alone. I won't have her harmed."

"Yessss, Ssssssesssshomaru-sssama."

Sesshomaru growled in annoyance hoping he'd never have to hear the lowly youkai say his name again.

**SSSS**

Kagome sighed in contentment.

It was easy to forget one's troubles in a nice hot bath.

She should've known better.

As her eyes closed, and she slipped into a light slumber, something slithered through the grass towards her. Then, its scaly body slipped into the water and circled her uninjured slender ankle.

With a hard jerk, it pulled Kagome under the water.

She awoke confused and frightened. Opening her mouth to scream, it filled with hot water. She thrashed and kicked to no avail.

Suddenly, a strong hand gripped her arm and hauled her out of the spring. But whatever was attached to her ankle decided to play tug of war.

Sputtering and wiping her sopping hair out of her eyes, Kagome gasped when she saw who her savior was. Sesshomaru stared at her impassively. She tried to jerk away from him.

"Cease your struggles, wench," he hissed.

With another hard yank that nearly popped her shoulder out of its joint, Sesshomaru hauled her and the youkai around her ankle completely out of the spring and onto the dewy grass.

Too horrified that there was a disgusting snake youkai licking at her calf with its long tongue, she forgot she was naked, and that Sesshomaru was there to see it. Not that he'd like it or anything. It was just humiliating.

"Not on my birthday, damn it!" she snarled, her miko powers flared bright pink between her out-stretched fingers.

But before she could purify the jerk in a satisfying release of energy, Sesshomaru stole her thunder and slashed it to bits with his claws.

She noticed she was naked then. But didn't notice Sesshomaru take his jewels back from the youkai who was now resting in several nasty pieces.

The arrogant taiyoukai wiped his claws on the grass. "It appears, miko," he drawled, "That you are in this Sesshomaru's debt."

Covering herself as best she could with her hands, she blinked at him. "Huh?"

"Are you deaf, miko?"

She frowned. "No. But…I could've killed that lowly youkai no problem. You just barged in while I was taking a bath…and by the way, I'm naked! Get lost!"

He stiffened and rose to his feet. He glowered at her making her shiver a little. "Regardless, you are in my debt. And as such, I expect payment."

"P-payment?" That couldn't be good. What did she have that Sesshomaru could possibly want. Her eyes widened and her gaze trailed down to her barely covered breasts. No…couldn't be. Her cheeks burned as all the blood in her body seemed to rush to them.

A sneer curled his thin lips. "That is not the type of payment this Sesshomaru had in mind. I require a maid."

Forgetting modesty entirely, she sprang to her feet. "A what?!"

She didn't notice the twitch under his eye as he fought to keep his eyes on her face.

"You will clean this Sesshomaru's home, wench. Now."

Without another word, he threw her bundled clothes at her.

Once she was dressed, she expected a good argument to ensue. Instead, he grabbed her around the waist, hoisted her over his shoulder like a sack of dirty laundry, and lifted them both into the sky completely ignoring her screams and kicks of protest.

_A/N: This is not a serious story. At NO point will it be serious. There will be lemon-y goodness…as in this will be a very dirty naughty story. You've been warned._

_I will say in advance that this won't be updated as quickly as Spark. Mostly because I'm sorta flying by the seat of my pants on this one_.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Scandalous

Sesshomaru dumped the wench unceremoniously to the ground in the courtyard of his palace. At some point during their hasty flight, she'd had the audacity to fall asleep on his person. He pinned her with a hard glare, hoping she'd stop her screeching.

Her face florid, her small hands shaking, she scrambled up from the ground and waggled her finger in his face. "How dare you? I refuse to be man-handled like that! And I am not cleaning your house!"

Sesshomaru thought that if that finger got any closer to his face he'd bite it off.

"Are you even listening to me?" Her voice was like nails on glass…in hell. She stamped her foot in a most childish manner. "Hey! Helloooo! Anyone home in there?"

Her last bellow was so loud his ears rang. Did she not take into account his very sensitive hearing? Of course not. She was a dullard. "You will clean my house. Or I will collect payment in another fashion." For emphasis, he tapped the hilt of his sword with a clawed finger.

The woman sucked in a great deal of air, her eyes wide. "Fine, you know what? I'll take a look. Can't be that bad."

He gestured her forward and opened the shoji screen revealing the great hall. The wench let out an ear-splitting scream.

"I am NOT cleaning that! You should be ashamed of yourself! That's just disgusting!" She backed away, waving her arms in front of her face. "The smell!"

_Perhaps killing her would annoy InuYasha just as much_, he mused. But no, then he would have no one to clean this deplorable mess. "You will clean it. Or this Sesshomaru will kill you."

**SSSS**

Kagome smirked. Kill her, eh? Apparently he wasn't hip to the times. Kagome, contrary to popular belief, had not been sitting on her butt for three years. She'd been training and honing her miko powers.

She wasn't sure she could actually kill Sesshomaru, but she could wound him pretty badly.

Letting her powers flow into her hands, Kagome turned to face him. The surge of her supernatural energy whipped her still-damp hair around her face and shoulders. She grinned wickedly at him.

"Let's play," she growled. _Let him find out firsthand what Naraku went through in his last moments_, Kagome thought. She wasn't the meek and helpless school girl anymore. And she was really tired of people treating her like she was.

Just as she was about to purify him, a small face peeked around his leg. Big brown eyes stared up her and Kagome was given a charming gap-toothed grin. Quickly, Kagome drew her power back into herself and let it fizzle out.

"Kagome!" the little girl said. "I'm so happy to see you! Did you come to help since Master Jaken…since…he…since…." Rin began to sniffle, wiping at her tear filled eyes.

Immediately, Kagome's anger melted away. She went to her knees beside the girl, forgetting all about the irritated taiyoukai glowering above her. "What happened, honey?"

The child launched herself into Kagome's arms, knocking the air right out of her. "Master Jaken died!" Rin sobbed into her shoulder.

She smoothed the child's dirty tangled hair. "Oh Rin, I'm so sorry."

"So you've come to take care of me?" she asked looking up at her with shining eyes and a trembling smile.

All of Kagome's iron resolve shattered in the face of such an innocent heartfelt request. Of course she didn't want to clean that arrogant jerk's house. That went without saying. But what kind of girl was she if she let poor little Rin live in filth?

Kagome sighed. "Of course I'm here to help, Rin!"

**SSSS**

Rin led Kagome around the palace, chattering away. The Western Lord was apparently lacking in adequate cleaning supplies. He didn't have any big push brooms, paper towels, or cleaning chemicals in nice colorful plastic bottles. Sesshomaru didn't have anything but harsh lye soap, rags, and some buckets.

"Well…this sucks," Kagome said. She knew he wouldn't have the things she did on the other side of the well, but he should've at least had a damn broom. She peered into the store room again, as though a second look would magically fill it with the things she needed.

"What are you looking for, Kagome?" Rin asked.

"A broom."

"Ah. I don't see one either. Ooh, my mama used to use a pine tree branch to sweep out our hut. We could try that," Rin suggested.

Kagome ruffled the girl's top knot. "Pine tree branch it is!"

By nightfall, she and Rin had cleared out most of the rubbish and broken pottery. The walls were still smeared with filth and the floors were still dirty even though she had started scrubbing them, but at least the great hall didn't smell as bad. That or she'd gotten used to it.

Rin didn't help so much as she followed Kagome around talking a million miles an hour, but that was all right. Kagome had been lonely lately. Apparently, so had the little girl.

Kagome wiped the sweat from her brow and looked down at the suddenly silent child. "What's wrong, Rin?"

Rin swayed on her feet, her face grey. "I…I'm hungry. Master Jaken died before he could get me some supper," she said, eyes filling with tears again.

Kagome stiffened, anger pinking her cheeks. "You mean Sesshomaru didn't feed you…at all today?"

Rin shook her head. "Sesshomaru-sama was too busy."

Kagome knelt and took her by the shoulders, wincing when she felt how bony the girl's arms were. "Rin, I want you to wait right here. And sit down. I'll get you something to eat."

Rin sighed. "I already looked in the kitchen…there was nothing in there to eat."

Kagome forced a smile despite her worry and rage. "Don't worry, honey. I'm going to find Sesshomaru. He'll get you something."

Rin looked dubious.

**SSSS**

Kagome had never been so mad in her entire life. "No good, self serving, arrogant, mean-spirited, neglectful, ass!" she muttered under her breath as she marched down yet another long narrow hallway.

She used her miko powers to sense his youki, but so far, she'd only found empty bedchambers.

Just as she was about to give up, she saw the glow of a candle behind a shoji screen just up ahead. "Aha! Found you!"

With a deep breath, Kagome threw open the screen fully intent on letting him have it.

Her words, instead of being "You bastard! How could neglect to feed that little girl!", came out more like "Uhnnnn errr?"

Sesshomaru looked up at her blearily. In place of his imposing armor, giant fluffy pelt, and wicked swords, he was wearing a simple black hakama and navy haori…that was parted to reveal the smooth expanse of his chest and impressive abs. His hair, normally perfect, just like the rest of him, was rumpled and askew. He sat cross-legged on his futon, and in his hand was a bottle of sake. The whole room stank of liquor.

"Why are you barging in here? Do you not have work to do?"

Kagome pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle her giggles. Sesshomaru was slurring his words.

He staggered to his feet and swiped at her. But it was half-hearted, and she dodged easily. "Are you laughing at this Sesshomaru? Pray you are not."

She only shook her head. "I came in here to talk to you about Rin."

"Hn."

That mono-syllabic answer sent her into a fury. Again, he was just brushing her off. Well, she wasn't going to stand for it. "She's hungry, and there's nothing to eat in this miserable place. Not only that, but she's absolutely filthy! Her hair is all tangled and she's too skinny. How could you neglect that child so horribly! What is the matter with you? You ought to be ashamed of yourself! You know, where I come from, they take children away from bad parents! I mean, have you felt of her arms? They're all bone! Not only that, but the poor little thing is lonely. Imagine having Jaken as a companion, but as poor company as I'm sure he was, he was all she had, and now he's dead! I ought to purify you right here, right now. I've never been so disgusted in all of my life! You are a miserable, mean, spiteful, arrogant jerk! And I swear to you that I'm-"

Her tirade was cut off when Sesshomaru drew her to him and covered her lips with his.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru had been quite satisfied with the wench's progress and her ability to distract Rin. He'd watch from the shadows as the woman slaved away.

Perhaps he shouldn't have.

Her clothes, as usual, were horribly indecent. He'd seen whores wear more clothes. Her pants, if one could call them pants, were so short, they barely covered her pert backside, revealing her long shapely legs. Disgusting.

Her shirt wasn't any better. It had no sleeves. And all that sloshing and mopping on her hands and knees made the flimsy white fabric made it terribly transparent. Why even bother wearing clothes at all? he thought.

And that's when his mind went down dark pathways it never should have.

Maybe it was his suppressed grief. Yes, he'd admit that perhaps he was a little disturbed over his retainer's demise. And maybe he blamed himself just a little. Surely, that was the source of his present madness.

That and he hadn't had a female in his bed in over fifty years. Not that he hadn't had offers. Okay, he'd had one offer, but that bitch had the stink of Naraku all over her. That and he was preoccupied.

The only other female he'd been around really was Rin. And she didn't count.

Now, he was staring at a nearly naked, nubile, shapely, woman doing womanly things…like scrubbing the floor, getting her shirt all wet, licking her plump pink lips, breathing, blinking, stinking up the place with her decidedly feminine smell. And she was currently on all fours using both hands to get at the dirty floor. It made her bottom and breasts jiggle in a most delightful way.

Sesshomaru had stared at her for over an hour before he realized what he'd been doing.

_I was ogling that disgusting wench_, he thought in absolute revulsion.

He fled to his bedchamber.

Before he'd left his palace, he'd put a barrier around his wing of the palace, so when he arrived there, he was most pleased to find it untouched.

And the sake was just where he remembered it.

Being a creature of supreme control and will, he rarely indulged. But tonight he decided to get blitzed out of his mind. Hopefully it would induce a blackout and then forgetfulness. Yes, that was what was needed. He would rid himself of the horrid human woman as soon as she finished her job. He would leave in the morning to go kill things so that he could avoid her presence.

Everything was going just wonderfully. He was on his fifth bottle and feeling absolutely no pain when said disgusting wench barged into his room.

Immediately, she began to shout at him. And she wouldn't stop. He realized that perhaps he was in a poor condition to try to murder her, but he had to silence her somehow. His ears were screaming in pain.

He stumbled towards her, her musky scent enveloping his liquor addled senses. Sesshomaru stared at her cheeks that were flushed, her eyes that flashed in anger, and then her lips….

In a flash of brilliance, Sesshomaru decided best how to silence her.

Leaning forwards and ignoring the spike of fear in her scent, Sesshomaru silenced her by kissing her.

It wasn't a chaste kiss…he wasn't sure he knew how to be chaste. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, reveling in her sweetness.

She wasn't kissing him back, but he could care less. It was giving him pleasure, and that was all that mattered. He snarled against her mouth. Kisses weren't cutting it.

He forced his knee between her legs, pushing them apart. He ground his hips into hers, running his tongue along her jaw down to the hollow of her throat. Sesshomaru smiled against her skin when he heard her heartbeat pickup and smelled something far more interesting than her fear. Her arousal.

Raising his face from between her breasts, he decided to look at her passion-filled face. Only it wasn't filled with passion at all. Her teeth were bared and then she did something unforgivable.

She drew back her tiny hand and slapped him.

"I-I-I! What? Why? You!" She stammered, fists clenching. She stormed out of his room.

Now, had he been sober, he would have simply loosed her pretty head from her very lovely shoulders, but he was about two sake bottles from sober.

Instead, he chased after her, all thoughts of propriety and the shame he was sure to feel in the morning too numbed by drink to make themselves known.

**SSSS**

Kagome's heart was pounding in her ears as she ran from Sesshomaru's room.

_He's gone totally nuts_, she thought, turning a corner quickly, hoping to throw him off.

Just as she was certain he had given up chasing her (presumably to kill her for slapping him), a strong arm grabbed her around the waist, and she was tackled to the ground.

Sesshomaru sat on her ass, pinning her with his strong thighs. His breathing was ragged. "Foolish," he said. "You should know better than to run from this Sesshomaru."

"You're crazy!" she shrieked, pounding her fists on the floor. "Get off me!"

"And how did you think I would react, little miko, when you prance about in your indecent clothes? And when you were scrubbing the floor and purposefully getting your shirt all wet…tsk tsk. You shouldn't tease if you aren't prepared to face the consequences."

She would've screamed at him in indignant fury, except she felt something prodding her backside. Something hard. It stole every smart retort that she had.

He leaned over her until she could feel his hot breath caress her ear. "What's the matter? Can't think of anything to say?"

She squealed when his long tongue traced the shell of her ear.

_I have to think logically. This is a bad idea on every level. Bad, bad, bad,_ she told herself. But then he was licking her neck again, thrusting his hips forward. _Ooh…wait. This is…this is good._

Ever since InuYasha had gone off to sow his oats and Sango had her first baby, and Shippo had run off to train how to become a proper youkai with Kouga, Kagome had been lonely. Very, very lonely.

More specifically, she'd been lonely for some male attention. And Sesshomaru was attractive. _But_, she pointed out to herself as he rolled off of her only to pull her face in for another searing kiss, _he is also drunk and I don't think this would sit well in the morning_.

Just as she had mustered up the will to push him off and calmly explain why this was a bad idea, Sesshomaru sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and cupped one of her breasts.

Teenage hormones coupled with loneliness, Kagome decided, were a very dangerous combination.

_A/N: Will there be a lemon next chapter? You know, I've not decided yet. Maybe. Maybe I'll draw it out just to torture myself! We shall see._

_For my delightful FFNET peeps, you will be able to find ze lemons on mediaminer, affnet, and singlespark. Kiska on all three_.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

_A/N: Oh…reviewers…I love you so. You tickle my fancy. _

_WARNING: There is naughtiness! But no lemon…but it does have a citrus-y after taste. Proceed with caution._

Kagome was ignorant of a very important fact. Youkai didn't stay drunk very long.

As her searching fingers dipped inside the gap in his haori, Kagome failed to feel Sesshomaru's entire body go rigid. And since she had her eyes closed while she kissed him as passionately as he'd kissed her, she missed his eyes fly open.

The growl…she mistook it for one of lust, not warning.

The violent push and a snarling Sesshomaru were pretty obvious signs, however. Kagome blinked up at him, feeling a variety of unpleasant emotions.

She scrambled to her feet, adjusting her askew clothing and smoothing her mussed hair. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded.

"I would ask the same of you, wench."

"Huh?" What was he getting at? Had he had a recent brain injury?

He wrapped his hand around her throat, squeezing just enough that it scared her, but not enough to actually harm her. "You will cease this ridiculous game," he hissed.

"Game? _Game?!_" she shrieked. "I'm not playing any games! You _kidnapped_ me and under pain of death made me clean your disgusting home! Then, you get drunk and try to force yourself on me! You're the one playing games, Sesshomaru!"

His fury and youki slammed into her, crackling the air around them. Her mouth tasted faintly of copper, and she realized she might have said a bit too much.

Sesshomaru flung her away from, sending her reeling to the floor. She was certain she'd have a nice bruise on her hip come morning.

"You will finish your task," he ground out, eyes sparkling in the scant light of the hall.

Kagome got to her feet, dusting off her shorts. "Yeah. Fine," she grumbled.

**SSSS**

Kagome sighed as she poked through her much abused yellow back pack. She was so glad she'd had the where with all to actually snag it before Sesshomaru played caveman and dragged her away kicking and screaming.

Which would've been sexy if he weren't completely insane and possibly homicidal.

"Stupid jerk," she muttered.

Rin peeped over her shoulder. "Who are you talking about, Kagome?"

She gave the child a nervous chuckle. "Oh, nobody. Don't worry about it. Aha!" Kagome held up a stale pack of ramen. Well, she was fairly certain it was stale. It'd been sitting in there for three years. She wasn't sure why she'd saved it all this time. She guessed it had been for InuYasha originally, maybe to celebrate their marriage…as silly as that sounded.

Rin wrinkled her nose. "That doesn't look like food."

"I know. I hope it's still good. All the same, it's better than nothing!"

Kagome went into the large kitchen to prepare it, but immediately slid the doors shut as soon as she opened them. Really…a biohazard team should tackle that kitchen before she actually made food in it. There were lots of fuzzy things in there. And a very bad smell. Like ass…dead rotting ass.

So, she built a fire in the courtyard instead and made the ramen under the stars…just like old times. Her own stomach was empty and beginning to complain when the familiar smell of the noodle soup hit her, but no. Rin would get it all. She could bug Sesshomaru for food later. Maybe. Or hunt it herself.

As the little girl devoured the ramen quick enough to put InuYasha to shame, Kagome's mood continued to sour.

Her birthday, for the third year in a row, had been a total bust. She was fairly certain this was the worst one. Last year she'd celebrated with Miroku before he'd left Kaede's village. But he'd wandered off after some pretty girl halfway through the night, and had left in a quite a hurry the next morning…with an angry father chasing after him. She'd been a little miffed, but it was okay.

This was just unfair. She was going to go to bed dirty, hungry, sore, and sexually frustrated.

That bastard had to pay. She couldn't allow him to get away with that.

Slowly, a plan was developing. Oh, it was a good plan…well, if it worked, and there was a high probability that it would not. But it would be worth a try and at least would be interesting. So long as it didn't end with her grizzly demise.

Fishing a hankie out of the front pocket of her bag, she dabbed Rin's mouth. "Feel better?"

Rin nodded, then gave a big yawn.

"Good. Time for bed! We have a lot of work to do tomorrow. A lot. And you're going to help." The child didn't have the guile to notice the mischievous gleam in her new companion's eyes.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru sat in his bedchamber on his futon feeling vaguely horrified.

The wench would have to be punished. What had she done? Well, he wasn't certain, but he was sure it was terrible. He would avoid her come morning…and continue doing so until he decided upon something nasty and awful.

That didn't include ravishing her until she passed out.

Or making her scream his name over and over again.

Sesshomaru shook his head as though it would shake the cursed woman from his brain. It didn't. It just gave him a headache.

_Oh, how the mighty have fallen,_ he thought. He certainly hoped his great father couldn't see him in the afterlife. The thought of the old man laughing at him was unsettling.

Thoughts of his long dead father made him remember a conversation they'd once had.

"_Son, someday you'll want to find a mate."_

_Young Sesshomaru groaned. Not this talk. He hated these talks. His mother had already cornered him and asked for grandchildren. As if he'd let that harpy around his pups!_

"_But don't settle down too early. Play around a bit. Sow your oats."_

_Sesshomaru snorted. "Demonesses are very territorial, Father. I'd like my manhood to stay attached to my body."_

_His father smirked and held up a finger. "Quite right, my boy. That's why you dally with human wenches before you settle down." The old pervert chuckled. "So many benefits. First, if they get too attached, all you have to do is wait! In fifty years or so…they'll be dead. Secondly, they're easily impressed. The claws, the fangs, the markings…drive them crazy."_

_Sesshomaru shuddered. What a terrible idea! Perhaps avoiding women was a good plan in general. Look what skirt chasing had done to his father._

_Exactly_, he thought. He would cease this horrid line of thought now before he had little InuYasha's running all over his palace. That thought alone cooled his rampaging libido.

Come dawn, he wouldn't run. He'd begin to get his affairs in order. Perhaps he would invite the other youkai lords to the palace, once it was clean, to re-establish his power. Let them know that their encroachment on his borders had not gone unnoticed and would not be acceptable. Yes. That's what he'd do. Busy himself with that.

He should've run away.

**SSSS**

By noon, the great hall was completely clean. Oh, it needed some repairs to the shoji screens and maybe a new rug here and there, but Kagome was still quite impressed with herself.

She'd sent Rin off to bathe. The child looked even grubbier in the light of day. After rummaging around in some chests she'd found in the east wing of the palace, Kagome had managed to scavenge a few silk kimonos. They were old, but still in fairly good condition.

Though her sewing skills weren't that great, she managed to hem one to where it didn't look like a retarded monkey on nitrous had done it.

She was going to give Rin a much needed makeover before tackling the Pit of Despair…aka, the kitchen.

When Rin returned freshly scrubbed, Kagome got to work. First, she set about brushing the child's hair. It was no small feat. The poor little thing was in tears and holding on to her stinging scalp by the time Kagome had gotten all the knots out. A few kisses on the cheek cured Rin's ills.

Kagome took her scissors out of her pack and gave the girl a haircut. The child needed to keep it short. Rin, fearful of another attack by Kagome's hairbrush, agreed.

Once satisfied that the bob was even, Kagome dressed her in the hemmed kimono. It was pale pink and adorned with blossoms. Rin looked adorable. And clean.

"You look very pretty, Rin. Now, I need you to go find Sesshomaru, he'll probably be in his room which is down the west hall, the last bedchamber on the right." _Sleeping off his hang-over,_ she thought with a smirk. "When you find him, I need you to tell him to get us some food. He'll probably ask where I am, and even if he doesn't, you're going to tell him I'm taking a bath. You got that?" Kagome said as she put her last energy bar into the girl's waiting palms. Kagome felt a small pang of regret. Those were supposed to be for emergencies only, but really, she couldn't let the girl starve.

"I will tell him, Kagome," Rin said over her shoulder as she ran down the hall.

Kagome couldn't suppress her grin of triumph. Part one of the plan to Make Sesshomaru Suffer was in effect.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru was still staring at the wall and still thinking of ways not to think of the wench, when the shoji screen slid open.

Eyes glimmering in anticipation, all thoughts of resisting her strange methods of seduction fled as he licked his lips and nearly crawled on the floor to get to her.

Only it wasn't her.

It was Rin.

Who was clean, wearing a new kimono and donning much shorter hair than he remembered.

She bowed her little head, eyes on her bare wriggling toes. "Sesshomaru-sama?"

He sighed and thanked the kami that it wasn't the wench. "What is it, Rin?"

"Kagome told me to tell you to get some food for us. We're very hungry. And I bet Kagome is even hungrier. She gave me all her dinner last nignt."

Ah. He seemed to vaguely recall the grating bitch screaming something about food for the child.

Rin looked up at him, face scrunched in concentration. "Oh. She wanted me to tell you something else too."

He waited. The child fidgeted.

"Which was?" he asked with the tone that said he didn't give a flying rat's ass, but his wretched body betrayed him, and he leaned forward.

Rin frowned. "Um…. Oh!" she exclaimed brightly. "Kagome wanted me to tell you she was taking a bath."

He was stalking to the hot springs before he could stop himself leaving Rin blinking after him.

Sesshomaru was going to put a stop to this. Immediately. Perhaps he could place a foot on top of her head and drown her. The next image his mind gave him he attributed to the after effects of getting so drunk…because surely his sober brain hadn't conjured an image of the woman running her pink tongue up his calf to his inner thigh.

Hidden in the trees, he listened for the tell-tale sound of splashing. He didn't hear it. So, he got closer. Perhaps she'd fallen asleep.

She was not sleeping.

Stretched out on the rocks above the hot spring, the woman lay on her stomach wearing…what? A small triangle of pale pink cloth covered her backside…barely. But that was it. And her skin was very…oily? The sun glimmered off her bare skin. Sesshomaru didn't even blink.

"Oh," she said, sitting up. Her back was to him, and as much as he tried, he couldn't get any closer to peek without being detected. "It is SO hot!"

Yes, yes it was.

Beside her was a bucket from which she withdrew a silver ladle. The wench lifted the ladle to her lips and began to drink. In morbid fascination he watched her throat work as she swallowed…and imagined her swallowing something else.

Then, much to his delight…NO! no! Horror and revulsion, yes, certainly he was disgusted when she let the water trickle down her neck and presumably over her bare breasts.

"Mmm," the wench moaned. "That feels _so_ good!" She sighed. "Too bad there aren't any _real_ men around this place."

What?! He'd show her what a real man could do to naughty little teases.

Wait.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. It was a trick. A trap. Ha! He wasn't going to fall prey to such ridiculous antics so easily. Who did she think he was?

Then she turned around, leaning back on her elbows and giving him a fantastic view of her perfect breasts. He told himself the only reason he was sticking around was to watch her humiliate herself further with her decidedly pathetic attempts at seduction.

Then she blew his mind.

The wench closed her eyes, her lips just parting in the barest of sighs as she placed a small hand over her right breast. "Ooh," she said, arching her back into her own touch.

_Danger! Danger!_ his inner self screamed. He told the cold voice of reason to go fuck itself and continued to watch.

She took a nipple between thumb and forefinger and gave it a slight pinch. She gasped. "Ooh, yes! Just like that, Sesshomaru."

Sesshomaru dimly wondered if he were standing under a hornets' nest. That had to be the reason for the loud buzzing in his ears.

Her hand moved down her taut flat belly to her cloth covered sex. She gave it a squeeze. "Mmm. Oh, please, Sesshomaru," she whispered. "I'm so, so wet!"

He smirked. _Is that so?_ he thought, taking an unconscious step forward. He scented the air. Sure enough, there intermingled with damp earth and the green scent of the trees, he could smell feminine arousal.

Her fingers dipped inside the cloth, moving in slow agonizing circles. Her tan body gave a slight shudder. "Your tongue feels so good!" she exclaimed tossing her head back.

So she liked that, did she? He filed that away for later use.

Later use?! No! He had to quit thinking that way. Before he could stop himself, he let out a loud growl.

The wench opened her eyes, but her hand thankfully remained where it was. She smiled slyly then licked her lips. Her tongue hypnotized him. He should've run away.

"Like watching, Sesshomaru? Is that all you want to do? Just stand there and watch?" She continued touching herself, shredding his dignity and self control.

Then she yawned, removed her hand, and stood. "Well, hope you got an eyeful. Because that's all you're _EVER_ going to get." She waggled her fingers at him. "Oh, and by the way, go be useful and hunt some food for your ward before the poor thing starves to death. Pervert."

_A/N: Yes, yes. The Smiths. I love them. Morrissey. Mmm. It must be that pompadour. If you have no idea what I'm blathering about…don't worry. Most of my thoughts are random and mean nothing._

_At any rate! OH my goodness. This one got away from me! I fear it may be longer than I intended. Just goes to show I'm a novelist at heart. This was supposed to wrap up in three chapters…ah well. Onwards!_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Let it Never be Said, the Romance is Dead**

He'd never known such rage. His ability to keep his emotions in check shattered. Sesshomaru's eyes bled to crimson, his entire body shook as he began to shift to his true form, canines elongating.

Perhaps fate took pity on the frazzled taiyoukai. The surge of his youki startled a doe from the bushes which she had been hiding in.

It calmed him instantly. He had a perfect way to save face.

Before the deer could leap away to safety, he slashed it mercilessly with his claws. It was dead before it hit the ground. The hot blood washing over his fingers made him sigh in contentment. Yes, he felt much better. But he wasn't finished.

Hefting the carcass, he slung it with a little more force than necessary. His aim was the bitch putting her clothes back on as she looked over her shoulder laughing hysterically at his expense.

_Let her laugh at this Sesshomaru now_, he thought with a feral grin.

Triumph surged through him as he watched her eyes widen in shock. The deer carcass cleared the tops of the trees and came barreling straight for her.

"Too slow!" he said softly as she tried to dodge.

The carcass knocked the miko backwards, her arms pin-wheeling. She fell into the hot spring with a terrified shriek.

Sesshomaru felt his laughter bubble in his chest, but he choked it down. He walked into the clearing the only hint of his sheer joy was the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. He stood at the lip of the hot spring waiting for her to surface.

The miko broke the water sputtering and coughing her face a brilliant red. She stood, her clothes sodden, her hair plastered to her face. She pointed a trembling finger at him. "You!" she said.

Sesshomaru arched a silver brow at her. "Indeed…me."

He gestured to the ledge where the deer carcass lay bleeding all over the rocks. "I came to deliver the food I'd hunted for you and the child when I saw your little display, miko. Truly, I had no idea you were so enamored of this Sesshomaru. It must be very frustrating for you."

It was hard not to laugh in her face as she trembled in fury. "You threw it at me!"

"Hn."

"You mean…you'd been hunting…all this time?" She stopped trembling and the color drained from her face.

He graced her with a rare, sly grin. "Hn."

"Oh," she said, her voice so soft even he had a hard time hearing it.

"I assure you, your efforts to seduce this Sesshomaru are a waste of time. I command that you desist…unless of course you enjoy humiliating yourself, miko…if I can even call you that now. Truly, I thought a priestess would behave with more…decorum."

The wench flinched as she said this. She opened her mouth to say something, then snapped her jaws shut with an audible click. When she looked up at him at last, her eyes were cold. "Thank you for hunting, Sesshomaru-sama."

He turned his back on her and walked back to his palace. That bitch thought she was clever, did she? Well, he would show her. He would have her crawling on her hands and knees begging for him to take her.

Once he was in the comforting solitude of his modest bedchamber, he began to form a devious plan. A Plan to Make the Miko Miserable.

**SSSS**

Kagome wanted to die. She doubted she'd ever been so humiliated in her life.

But she could've sworn he'd just been standing there watching her. Of course the arrogant jerk had no idea the amount of courage it had taken to actually do that in front of him.

Not that she'd admit it had really turned her on…nor would she admit that she'd been imagining him touching himself while watching her.

Burying her face in her hands, she despaired. But then she straightened.

"Hell no. I'm not beaten just yet!" she said raising her fist to the sky as though to challenge the gods themselves. "I'm Kagome! And I'm going to put that asshole in his place!" Her mind supplied her with a picture of just where it thought his place was…writhing under her in ecstasy. "Not like that!" she grumbled to herself.

Her first thoughts had been to torment Sesshomaru with her feminine wiles, but that hadn't gone over well. She would need to be more subtle. Or better yet, she could make him jealous. But how?

Kagome occupied her thoughts with ways of torturing the arrogant taiyoukai as she skinned the deer. Once again she thought how great it was that she'd remembered her backpack.

"That prick," she muttered. "Throwing the deer at me like that! At least InuYasha skinned stuff that he killed…well, most of the time. Would it hurt for him to be at least polite to me?" She paused. She hadn't exactly been very polite to him either. But he didn't deserve it! He was a pervert and a kidnapper.

But then…he was expecting her to be rude, expecting her to fight his every command. Kagome smiled deviously. Phase two of her plan to Make Sesshomaru Suffer would soon be in effect.

**SSSS**

Kagome donned her shorts and tank top and tied back her hair. Squaring her shoulders, she prepared to face the enemy.

Rin held onto Ah Un's reins, a puzzled look on her face.

"Do you have the blanket, Rin?" Kagome asked over her shoulder.

The girl nodded. "Yes, Kagome."

"Spread it out on the floor. I'm going in." Her voice was grim.

Rin hugged her leg fiercely. "Good luck, Kagome!"

Kagome tied a strip of cloth over her nose and mouth and walked into the Pit of Despair.

A few seconds later she ran screaming out into the great hall. "That is unholy!" she said, hand over her chest, her eyes watering from the smell. In her hands, she held a copper pot that had black sludge with a green fuzzy beard in it. With a shudder, Kagome dropped it on the blanket. She eyed it for a moment and wondered if she should use her purifying miko powers on it. "Ugh!" Twitching and gagging, Kagome went back into the kitchen.

Three hours later, she'd managed to remove every dish and pot. All of which she piled onto the blanket one at a time…well, what could be salvaged anyway. She figured if something had three different types of mold on it…or even worse…maggots, it was toast.

"Okay!" she chirped brightly. Kagome looked Ah or Un…she couldn't tell the damn difference, square in the eye and put her hand on it's head, giving the youkai an affectionate pat. "I'm going to tie this stuff to your reins, boy…er…girl? And you're going to drag it to the hot spring so I can wash them."

The beast snorted…soundly so much like a certain youkai with a stick up his ass that Kagome laughed.

"I'll give you lots of treats and scratch your back," she pleaded.

The youkai chuffed…which Kagome took as a yes.

She bundled up the mess and tied the edge of the blanket to Ah Un's reins. The creature backed up slowly, dragging it across the floor.

Kagome turned to Rin. "Okay, honey. Now, I want you to follow Ah Un and make sure no dishes fall out on the way, all right?"

Rin nodded and skipped after the beast.

Kagome returned to the kitchen. The clay stove wasn't that dirty, though she had to scrape the ashes out of the hole in the front. There were also dubious bones in there…she hoped they weren't human, though she wouldn't be surprised.

The fire pit beside the stove had to be cleaned out as well. There was a high wooden table…covered with kami knew what. All of it was moldy, and the surface of the table was still sticky with some dark maroon substance.

It was near dusk by the time she'd scrubbed and cleaned everything. Kagome was filthy and covered in muck, soot, and blood from skinning that damned deer was under her fingernails. And she still had to cook dinner.

She roasted the deer over the fire pit, and she and Rin ate it in silence. After dinner, Kagome sent the girl off to bed while she tried to clean up.

After the dishes were put away, she went to wipe off the table. _I'll just rest my head here for a moment_, she thought blearily. Kagome promptly fell asleep with her head pillowed on her dirty arms.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru took his time bathing, making sure to oil his hair and get all the tangles out with his claws. He hadn't had the time to primp for three years.

He chose not to dwell on the fact that he was making himself attractive for a human wench. Besides, it was only to frustrate her. Perhaps she would get so frustrated she would touch herself again. So, to his fevered mind, it was well worth the effort.

He also wouldn't admit to himself that this was probably the most fun he'd had in…well…forever.

Dressed in black silk, with his haori open to his navel, he sniffed the air. The wench was in the kitchen…where she belonged. He thought of other positions she'd be suitable for, but quickly put those out of his mind. No, no. She mustn't think she had any sort of sway over him. She would be the one begging, not him.

He growled in annoyance when he saw her sleeping at the table. Dark circles were under her eyes and she was absolutely filthy.

But at least his kitchen was clean. A small flicker of admiration lit his eyes. He wasn't sure how she'd managed such a feat. He'd been fairly set on gutting the place.

He smirked. It didn't matter that she was exhausted. He was going to wake her up.

**SSSS**

"Miko," she heard a soft male voice whisper.

Kagome made a muffled noise and turned her face away. She wouldn't wake up for that. It usually meant someone needed something, and she was too tired to give a shit.

"Wench." That certainly wasn't cutting it either.

There was a long pause, and Kagome smiled. Good, peace at last.

"Kagome," the voice was like velvet sliding over her skin. She didn't even know her name could sound so sensual. Her eyes fluttered open.

Sesshomaru's face was right in front of her. She eeped and sat up straight. "Don't do that! You scared me!" she cried, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

When she looked at him again, she instantly wished she'd left the sleep in her eyes. His hair pooled around him like molten silver. His alabaster skin glowed against the black silk of his clothes. And damn him for leaving his haori opened so casually like that. She really didn't want to look at his chiseled abs…or his very lickable pecs. _Not lickable! Not not not!_ she told herself.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"This Sesshomaru demands that you cook for him," he said icily.

Kagome crossed her arms over her chest. "No. That wasn't part of the deal. Cleaning only. I'm not your slave."

He smirked and leaned towards her. He smelled really nice. Like sandalwood and other manly male things. Kagome decided to breathe through her mouth. "You will do as I say, wench."

She was about to say that she would not, but she remembered her plan. Kagome smiled at him sweetly. "Of course I will," she said, her voice dripping with honey. She leaned ever closer to him, until their noses almost touched. "I'll do _whatever_ you say, Sesshomaru-sama." She kept her tone all breathy as she'd seen women in romance movies do. Though, the heroes in the movies responded by kissing the heroines…not growling and narrowing their eyes at them. Kagome wondered how Sesshomaru ever got laid with that crappy attitude of his. Then she looked at his chest. _Oh…that_, she thought with a small frown.

He wrinkled his nose at her. "Your smell is offensive. You should consider bathing."

Instead of letting it get to her, Kagome stood and hooked her thumbs under the straps of her tank top. She gave them a little downward yank. "Would you like for me to bathe right now, Sesshomaru-sama?"

She expected him to be rude and nasty, but instead he stalked over to her and stood behind her. She could feel his hot breath on her neck. "What if I told you to undress, get on all fours, and be a good little bitch?"

Kagome was pretty sure all her blood rushed to her face and her groin. She felt dizzy. "I…I…I…well…you see…hmm…I'm not sure that…," Kagome stammered, wringing her hands.

The tip of his nose brushed the soft skin under her ear, right by her hammering pulse. She gasped.

"You didn't answer my question, bitch. Actually, don't bother speaking. Your voice is hideous and grating. In fact, this Sesshomaru finds you wholly unappealing. Though, judging by how heavy your disgusting arousal hangs in the air…you would've been overjoyed to accommodate my request." He sniffed, looking as though he'd smelled the Pit of Despair before she'd exorcised its demons.

She whirled to face him, her plans thrown out like moldy maggoty dishes. "You are a complete asshole!" she shrieked.

He narrowed his eyes, gold irises blazing. "You would dare speak to this Sesshomaru thus in his own home?"

Kagome nodded. "Yup. I hate you like poison. You make me sick." She made a face to illustrate her point.

Sesshomaru tapped his sharp chin. "Hmm. I make you sick? Does this sickness include touching yourself and crying out for me to take you, wench?"

The heat in her face boiled to the tips of her ears. "Well, at least I didn't tackle you and try to do you in the hallway! Pervert!"

"Watch your treacherous tongue, wench," he growled. "Lest I find a better use for it."

Kagome put her hands on her hips. "Ha! I'm sure you're thinking all sorts of perverted things about my tongue, you dirty dog." She knew she was going too far, but she was so mad she lost all concern for her well-being.

"I was thinking you could clean the oven out with your tongue, actually. Are you really that in love with me, miko? Truly the way you try to throw yourself at me is quite pathetic." He smirked at her again. "This Sesshomaru is merciful. Perhaps if you begged I would consider lowering myself for a pity rut."

"Pity…rut?" she repeated, mouth dropping open.

He totally did not say that.

Kagome laughed.

He couldn't have said that, because she would have to kill him if he did.

Sesshomaru sighed, putting on an air of weariness. "That's right, miko. Perhaps this Sesshomaru feels sorry for you. Sorry that you're so unattractive, sorry that you are so uncultured, sorry that you couldn't even keep the hanyou by your side."

With all her might, Kagome drew back her arm and slapped him. Hard. Right across his perfect face.

The sound of the blow echoed in the kitchen. His face was slightly turned, but he glared down at her. There was murder in those golden depths. Kagome swallowed hard.

"Oh…crap," she said.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Nowhere Fast

Fight or flight. When humans are faced with imminent demise, they either choose one of those two options. It is instinct. Kagome's entire body twitched. It was telling her she'd tried option one and that had been a really bad plan. It was virtually screaming at her via adrenaline being pumped through her limbs to run.

The morbid part of her brain, however, wanted to see what Sesshomaru would do. The whole left side of his face was red. She'd actually focused some purifying energy into that slap. Kagome bet it had stung like hell.

At least he wasn't snarling or growling. Yet.

He _was_ glowering.

Kagome gave him a nervous chuckle.

"Tell me, miko," he began, his tone calm and cold suggesting that he either had short term memory problems or he had already decided her fate. "How long did it take you to clean the kitchen?"

"All day," she replied, backing up a step. He was going to kill her. He just didn't want to make a mess in the kitchen.

"Hn." He stepped around her, nearly giving her a heart attack. With a booted foot, he kicked ash and smoldering wood all over the kitchen floor. "Clean it," he sneered.

"What are you, three? You make a mess, YOU clean it up! If you're mad about that slap…well…you totally deserved it! You were being a jerk! Why can't you just say you're mad like a normal person?" Her anger, she decided, made her crazy. She'd always had a bit of a temper control issue, but really, she was pretty sure she needed counseling at this point. Not that such a thing was available in feudal Japan.

"This Sesshomaru is taiyoukai…not a _person_," he said. "You will clean it up. You will do it right this instant. I will kill you if you don't." Without warning, he hand snaked out and he grabbed her by the front of her tank top, hauling her behind him. With a hard pull, he sent her sprawling to the floor on her hands and knees.

Her palms smacked on the stone floor, her knees gave a terrible pop. There'd be bruises there to match the one on her ass from when he'd tackled her in the hall. The pain filled her eyes with tears…which only made Kagome madder. Hastily, she blinked her tears away and scooped up a handful of ash.

Kagome jumped to her feet and dumped the ash right on top of Sesshomaru's gleaming head. For good measure, she wiped her palms on his cheeks, then his chest. "Clean _that_ up. Asshole."

She turned her back on him and prepared to stalk out of the kitchen, take a nice hot bath, and go to bed.

Sesshomaru, however, seemed to have other plans.

"You dare turn your back on this Sesshomaru?" he bellowed.

Kagome froze. She'd never, in all the years she'd had brief encounters with the taiyoukai, heard him yell. Hell, he'd barely raised his voice to InuYasha. The backs of her hands tingled, the hairs on the back of her neck prickled. Her whole body began to tremble.

She was about to run, as useless as she knew it was, when something whacked her in the back of the head. It was wet and warm. With a shaking hand, she touched the back of her head. When she looked at her fingers they were covered in blood. Kagome screamed. He'd somehow managed to crack her skull open without her feeling much pain.

Staggering, Kagome turned to face him. She didn't even have time to duck as a shank of deer meat hit her square in the face. _He's…he's throwing raw meat at me?_ She blinked the blood out of her eyes.

**SSSS**

He'd been a bit shocked when she'd slapped him, but it really hadn't made him that angry. She was feisty, he half expected her to do something stupid like that.

But when she smeared ashes over his hair, face, and clothes…he'd been flabbergasted and furious. Then she'd had the audacity to turn away from him.

The deer she'd butchered was on a low table by the fire pit. He'd sunk his claws into it, pretending it was her, and then…for reasons he couldn't even fathom, he threw it at her.

Now, she stood before him, trembling, her shirt and face soaked with blood. It dripped down the valley between her breasts. And he was still hungry. And her breasts looked delicious.

Without another thought, he threw her to the ground, knocking the air out of her pathetically weak body in a whoosh. Sesshomaru straddled her…just to keep her from getting away and began to lick the blood from between her pert breasts.

Had he not already had enough wealth to last him several lifetimes, he would've marketed blood splattered miko to his peers. He was certain he'd make a killing.

For several long strokes of his tongue, she was still, but then she seemed to recover from her stupor. The miko thrashed wildly under him, hurling vile curses at him, pulling his hair with her small hands.

No one had EVER pulled his hair. In his youth, he'd had his share of demoness lovers. There had to be a fight before hand to establish that he was strong and virile enough to mount them, but after he won…and he always won, they submitted and were as tame as kittens. So, contrary to rumor, youkai women were not wild in the sack. They were boring.

She gave his hair another sharp yank, and unbidden, a low growl of pleasure bubbled between his lips. He loved it. Maybe he could make her angry enough that she'd slap him again.

"Mmm," he practically purred by her ear. "Pull harder, miko."

With a shriek she stopped her delicious torture of his scalp. "Get off me you hentai bastard! I hate you! Get off!"

He nipped at her earlobe. "Make me, bitch."

"Oh, I will! I'll purify your ass straight to hell!"

He snickered. She would do no such thing.

And then she did.

A blast of white-hot pure power made him fly backwards, scalding his skin. He was momentarily dazed, the room pitching wildly around him. He shook his head, and his vision cleared. The wench was attempting to get away.

The miko threw open the shoji screen that led to the courtyard. She paused when she saw it was raining, but then she fled into the stormy night.

He smirked. She couldn't escape him.

**SSSS**

Kagome shivered, the rain soaking her. At least it had washed the blood and soot off her.

She waited in the darkness like a lioness for her prey. _Any second now_, she thought, a large stick gripped in one hand, a small rock in the other.

Like clockwork, Sesshomaru stepped into the courtyard, his golden eyes narrowed, his nose up in the air as he searched for her scent. Kagome hurled the rock to her left. It clattered on the cobblestones. Sesshomaru grinned in triumph and began to march over to where he'd heard the noise.

From her bush, Kagome stuck the stick out just in time to catch him in the shins. A bright flash of lightning illuminated everything just in time to see him topple over and land right on his face.

Kagome emerged from her hiding place, grinning like the devil. "Ha! Serves you right!" she said.

He didn't move. Sesshomaru was absolutely still.

She waited knowing that any moment he'd spring to his feet and tackle her…maybe even kiss her again. He certainly knew they were playing…right?

He still wasn't moving.

An odd twinge of what felt like panic stirred in her chest. Maybe she'd hurt him with that blast of purifying energy? Maybe when she tripped him, he'd fell and cracked open his skull and now was dying of a brain hemorrhage…certainly even youkai could get brain hemorrhages?

"Sesshomaru?" she asked, her voice quavering. Gently, she nudged him with her bare foot. He didn't even twitch. "Oh no…," she breathed, fingers coming up to her lips.

Dropping to her knees beside him, she rolled him over onto his back…which was very difficult. Despite his lean frame, he was deceptively heavier than he looked. Grunting and pushing, she finally managed it. His head flopped over to the side, a thin trail of blood leaking from the corner of his kissable lips.

It was easy to admit how utterly kissable he was when she thought he might be dead.

His face was so utterly still. She thought he might've looked paler than usual. With trembling fingers, she slid open his haori revealing the smooth expanse of his muscled chest. It didn't rise or fall with breath.

"Sesshomaru!" she shouted, eyes filling with tears. "Please wake up!" She pressed her ear over his heart. Kagome frowned as it beat wildly against her cheek. He was alive, but why-

"Kagome?" His voice rumbled through her whole body. Choking out a sob of relief, she looked up at him, intent on kissing him in her gratitude.

Instead, she got a faceful of mud.

Sputtering, she wiped it from her eyes and spit it out of her mouth. He looked up at her impassively.

"I thought you were dead!" she cried.

Sesshomaru snorted. "You are truly gullible, wench. As if you could harm this Sesshomaru."

Kagome pouted, she couldn't help it. "Yeah well, I might be gullible, but don't ever do that again. That little stunt took three years off my life at least. And I'm human. I need all my years."

Raising up on his elbow, he gave her an odd look. "You were truly frightened?" 

Averting her gaze, she nodded.

Sesshomaru sighed. "It is as I suspected."

"What?" She frowned, not liking his smug tone.

"You are hopelessly in love with this Sesshomaru."

Her cheeks burned in indignation. "I am so not! I don't even like you! Okay, maybe I like you a little, but not much. You are a jerk, you're mean, you're crazy, you're cold, indifferent, homicidal, mean-"

He held up a clawed finger. "You mentioned that one already. Truly your attempts at verbal sparring are tiresome." He yawned for effect.

Kagome grabbed a handful of mud, preparing to sling it at him.

Sesshomaru was on her before she could draw her arm back. His grip mashed the small bones of her wrist together. She hissed through her teeth in pain.

"I tire of your childish games, miko," he growled.

Kagome decided to make a decision. He was flirting. Maybe he didn't even know that was what he was doing. She didn't have his crazy youkai senses, but there were other ways of telling…and frankly, he was being pretty obvious.

So, instead of hurling the mud at him anyway, she let it dribble from her hand. Kagome closed her eyes and leaned forward, licking her lips in anticipation of a kiss.

Her lips brushed his, and she felt his entire body stiffen.

Then Kagome was kissing air.

"Huh?" She looked up at him, but he was already gone.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru may have teased the miko that she was in love with him, but he hadn't really believed that she was.

Not until he smelled her tears when he'd played dead. Not until she'd pressed a tender kiss on his lips.

He'd only wanted a little fun…nothing serious. Of course, being female, she had to go and make it serious. And for arguments sake _only_, supposing he wouldn't mind being a little serious with the girl, he didn't want her tears or her tenderness. He wanted her fire.

He wanted hair pulling, slapping, pinching, biting…and a good hard fuck. Sesshomaru was tired of always having to be the one doing the seducing. No demon bitch had ever come after him…they were scared shitless he'd rip their heads off and spit down their neck before he'd let them touch him.

Sesshomaru didn't want her falling into his bed, he wanted her to drag _him _to bed.

Was it wrong that the most erotic thing he could think of was being dominated by a feisty, little, human wench? Yes. Yes, it was very wrong. And that was why it turned him on so much.

Stripping out of his wet clothes, Sesshomaru flopped down on his futon, not bothering to put anything else on. The cool air of his room felt good on his hot wet skin. Certain parts of him were begging that he go back and do anything the miko asked. He pictured Jaken naked to calm that part of him down. And it worked.

For two reasons. One being that it was Jaken. The second being that he'd forgotten for a moment that his retainer was dead which led to an annoying little pang in his chest. Nothing kills the mood faster than repressed grief and pent up emotion.

He was pleased that he'd made so much headway with the miko. Sesshomaru was certain that she was miserable at that very moment. And he intended to carry their game even further.

Come morning, he would send word to the Lord of the East, South, and North that he was having a get together at his palace. This would achieve many things.

The most important being how much it would unnerve the miko to learn that she had only a week to make his palace look presentable. Surely that would return her fighting spirit.

Sesshomaru let himself fall asleep with visions of a red-faced furious Kagome bending him over her knee and spanking him soundly with miko-charged slaps.

**SSSS**

Kagome retired to a small room in the east wing. It was musty and dust covered everything, but it wasn't filthy.

She decided as she lay down on the moth eaten futon that she hated men. Youkai men in particular.

Okay, just Sesshomaru.

She shouldn't have feelings for him other than terror and disdain. It shouldn't matter that he was hopelessly sexy, or that he was a good kisser…or that she'd secretly enjoyed every moment of their physical and verbal fighting.

She decided, right then and there, to make the feelings stop. They were stupid. All he likely wanted was to get her in the sack. Then, in his typical fashion, he'd humiliate her and tell her he didn't give a damn about her.

That'd been his evil plan all along, Kagome just knew it.

She supposed she could just run away.

But…!

"Argh!" she grumbled, turning her face into the musty fabric.

Well, if he could confuse her, she could confuse him.

It would start with no more flirting. Nope. Not even a wink or a coquettish grin. Not from her. No way. Every sexual advance would be rebuked.

That would be Phase Three of her plan to Make Sesshomaru Suffer.

If he wanted her badly enough he was going to have to do it properly. Flowers, poetry, proclamations. No more, "You're mine to do with as I like, wench," from him. Kagome was sick and tired of that crap. She wanted romance. Heaving bosoms, throbbing…things, ripped bodices, undying love, the whole nine yards. And she was going to make him do it if it killed her.

She'd clean his stupid house, and do it properly. She'd take care of Rin too…mostly because the girl was too cute to resist.

But if that arrogant dog thought he'd get a repeat of tonight, he was sorely mistaken.

Satisfied…well, no…but close enough, Kagome closed her eyes and dreamed of all the ways she could humiliate the taiyoukai. Her dreams were the best she'd ever had.

i A/N: This story is too fun.

Oh…the ideas I have. Hee hee hee. /i 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**Ghost of a Chance**

Kagome used to be a deep sleeper.

But that was before a centipede demon had dragged her down a well into a different time where things waited for you to fall asleep so that they could eat you. Now, the slightest noise would wake her. In her semi-conscious state, she'd learned to determine what was the rustling of leaves against the side of a hut and what was the scrape of claws moving across the floor.

Soft padding footsteps down flitting by her room startled Kagome awake. By instinct, she sat bolt upright, her hand going to the floor to reach for her bow and quiver of arrows.

Except that Sesshomaru hadn't given her time to grab them before he'd thrown her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Damn," Kagome cursed in a whispered voice. With her senses, she reached out, searching for youki. She found some, but it was familiar and currently sedate and possibly sleeping at the other end of the palace. She'd half-wished it had been Sesshomaru creeping outside her room so that their game could continue…even if she was bone tired.

Slowly so that her knees wouldn't creak, Kagome rose from her futon. She carefully slid the shoji screen open and peeped into the thick darkness of the hall. Down at the end was a soft flickering light. Kagome thought she heard quiet sobbing.

Before the whole mess with the capricious well, Kagome would've rushed down that hall to help whoever was in distress. It was just her nature to comfort. But she'd learned the hard way that there were youkai who could make sounds like a crying woman or child to lure one of her nature to their untimely demise. So, she crept, back against the wall, palms flat on the dusty surface.

Sesshomaru's place was really creepy in the dark. Fitting, she thought with a grimace.

The door to the room at the end of the hall was cracked open, pouring a thin stream of light onto the dull wood floors. Holding her breath, Kagome looked…and saw the back of Rin's head.

"…but Kagome is very nice, Master Jaken, so I'm not too lonely. She gave me a haircut and fixed me a new kimono. But Sesshomaru-sama is mean to her. Rin saw them fighting! He threw meat at Kagome and made her clean floor all dirty! Rin is afraid that he will scare Kagome away." The girl snuffled. Kagome poked her head in more and could see the girl had her head bowed, her little hands clasped in front of her. On a night stand was a battered little hat and some incense burning. A huge lump formed in Kagome's throat. That had been Jaken's hat.

"I wish Sesshomaru-sama would've buried you, Master Jaken," Rin said softly. "But I guess you're all right. I hope so. You never said so…but…I know you cared about me. I love you, Master Jaken. I miss you."

Kagome couldn't take anymore. She reached out to open the shoji screen when a clawed hand on her shoulder stopped her. Frowning, Kagome turned to meet Sesshomaru's gaze. His eyes were phosphorent in the darkness, like yellow fire. He shook his head slowly, quicksilver hair slipping over his shoulders.

At first, she was angry with him. Would it kill him to show some damn compassion and let her comfort the girl?

But he surprised her…again, by stepping around her and into the room. Rin turned, her cheeks shining wetly in the candle light.

Hastily, the child wiped her cheeks and lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru-sama. I didn't mean to cry."

The stoic taiyoukai frowned. "Hush, Rin," he said. Then, he drew the child to his chest, resting his chin on the top of her head.

Seeing him comfort the girl gave Kagome an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. A tingly warm sensation. She didn't like it. She wished he'd go back to being a jerk…it made things easier.

"Sesshomaru-sama…do you miss Master Jaken too?" Rin asked, her voice muffled.

Sesshomaru made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sigh as he ran his claws through the child's hair. There was a long pregnant pause. "Yes," he said simply.

Kagome smiled, she just couldn't help it.

Rin pulled away, a broad, gap-toothed smile on her face. "I bet that would make Master Jaken happy! He loved you, Sesshomaru-sama. But now we have Kagome to keep us from being lonely…right, Sesshomaru-sama?"

Her heart flopped around uncomfortably in her chest like a fish in the bottom of a boat. Sesshomaru went completely stiff, his eyes narrowing in what Kagome assumed was suspicion. He looked down at the girl, but Rin kept smiling, waiting for his answer.

"Hn."

"Figures," Kagome mumbled, trying to ignore the twinge of disappointment she felt. Stupid Sesshomaru and his stupid mono-syllabic answers! What did she expect from him anyway? "Oh yes, this Sesshomaru was lost until Kagome came with her beautiful smile that brought light into my darkness?" Well, they'd be serving ice cream in hell on little silver trays before that happened.

"I'm glad you like Kagome, Sesshomaru-sama. I want her to stay with us forever and ever and ever. She can stay, can't she?" Rin was relentless. Kagome had to hand it to her. That kid had minerals.

The skin under his right eye gave a twitch. "If that is your wish, Rin," he said, his voice sounding tight.

Rin nodded enthusiastically. "It is! It is! It is like I have a real family again!"

Sesshomaru made a funny noise in the back of his throat.

"But Sesshomaru-sama? You should be nicer to Kagome. You shouldn't fight with her. She might get mad and run away," Rin said softly, looking up at him with big shining eyes.

"Rin. It is late. You will go to bed now."

The little girl sighed. "Yes, Sesshomaru-sama. But can Rin sleep in Master Jaken's room now? I don't have a room…."

Sesshomaru stood and placed his hand on top of Rin's head. "Do as you like," he said.

He slid the door shut behind him. When he looked at her, Kagome felt the earth drop out from under her feet. He didn't look happy…but he didn't look angry. She couldn't describe it, but it scrambled her insides all the same. She tingled all over, right to the tips of her fingers. He pinned her with a golden glare and then brushed by her, the silk of his clothes trailing over her skin. Kagome shut her eyes and let the breath hiss between her teeth.

When she opened her eyes, he was gone, not even a trace of his dark essence lingered behind him.

Kagome stepped into the kitchen and her jaw promptly dropped open. Rin looked up at her with a big smile.

"Ooh, look, Kagome! Sesshomaru-sama got us some food!"

Apparently, he'd also picked up the mess they'd made the night before. The kitchen was sparkling clean. On the high wooden table were fruits, some rabbit, which he'd actually cooked himself, and some flat bread. Kagome didn't know where he'd gotten, but she didn't care. She was starving.

Merrily, she and Rin ate, chatting and enjoying the beautiful summer morning.

Until Sesshomaru came into the kitchen and ruined it.

He was wearing his full regalia, armor, pelt and all. Kagome gave him a genuine smile.

"Thank you for the breakfast, Sesshomaru," she said. Maybe expecting the things she wanted wasn't too far off after all.

"Your thanks are not appreciated nor are they wanted. You will need your strength. I have invited the lords of the East, North, and South for a banquet in a week's time. I expect every inch of my palace to be in order," he said in his usual, flat, toneless voice.

A slice of pear slid out of Kagome's mouth and hit the table. "What?" She rose to her feet and marched over to him, his act of goodwill completely forgotten in her fury.

She was so angry that she missed the sparkle of amusement flicker in his amber eyes.

"You heard me, human," he sneered. "You will do it, or the consequences will be quite unpleasant, I assure you." He ran his hand through his pelt. "I could always give you to one of the lords should you fail in this task," Sesshomaru said off-handedly.

Kagome jammed her hands into the pockets of her shorts to keep from smacking the smug look off his perfect face. _Bastard! Jerk! Asshole! Arrogant piece of dog poo!_ She was gritting her teeth so hard they squeaked. It just wouldn't do to say all those nasty things in front of Rin.

He leaned forward so that his breath and his masculine scent washed over her. Kagome blinked like a toad in a hailstorm. "What's the matter, miko? Nothing to say?"

She narrowed her eyes. He was trying to piss her off on purpose. Well, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction, and she'd already promised herself flirting was out.

Kagome took a step back and forced herself to smile. "Why, nothing's the matter, Sesshomaru-sama! I really don't mind the work. I need something _WORTHWHILE_ to occupy my time anyway." She sighed. "I've been so bored."

His hand snaked out and he grabbed her arm. "Good," he gritted. "Then perhaps you should get to work right now."

"Sounds good to me! I'd much rather do mindless drudgery than to have put up with the poor company around here!"

"Fine," he said.

"Fine!" Dimly Kagome realized that they were both being childish.

The anger slid from his face, the hand on her arm simply stayed there, no longer trying to bruise her skin. His breathing was ragged, his breath hot on her face. _He's going to kiss me!_ Kagome thought, biting her lip.

Sesshomaru leaned forward, his eyes closing.

Little hands pushed them apart.

Rin looked up at them, sobbing her tiny heart out. "Please don't fight! Rin will help you, Kagome! We'll get all the work done, I promise, Sesshomaru-sama! Don't make Kagome leave, please!"

Kagome dropped to her knees beside the girl and put her arms around her. "Oh, honey! Me and Sesshomaru-sama weren't fighting…we were…um…shit…um…."

"We were merely jesting," Sesshomaru finished.

"Right! We were just joking!"

"But not about the palace needing to be finished in a week," he added, smirking.

"Course not," she grouched.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru decided that he would further annoy the miko by following her and constantly critiquing her cleaning abilities. But only to get on her nerves, not because he liked being around her. He did not.

Except that he did, and he knew it. It was madness! She drove him insane. And she was still wearing those ridiculous pants. Kami, her ass was as firm as a ripe spring melon. He wanted to sink his teeth into it, give it a slap, squeeze it, have her sit in his lap…something. Every time the thrice cursed woman bent over to pick something up, his hand would twitch of its own accord.

Now, the horrid woman was trying to dust a ledge above a door. She stretched, and her shirt rode up, revealing the smooth taut skin of her flat belly. He had the indescribable urge to stick his tongue in her belly button. He'd bet she'd like that.

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath.

But not quietly enough.

Kagome whirled on him, hands on her lovely hips. "What? What am I doing wrong now? I can't help it if I'm short! Instead of complaining and following me around getting on my nerves, you could, oh, I don't know, help me out a little!"

He smiled before he could stop himself. "You want some help, miko?"

She shook her dust rag at him, making him wrinkle his nose to keep from sneezing. "That's what I said, damn it!"

"Very well," he said. He grabbed the girl by the back of her pants. He hefted her up so that her legs dangled off the ground. Sesshomaru could see the bottom of her left cheek. He nearly groaned aloud. "Now you can reach, wench."

He held her up higher than necessary just so her bottom could be right in front of his face. His tongue darted out between his lips. He really wanted to lick the small of her back.

"Put me down, you pig!" she screamed, kicking her shapely legs.

"Dust the ledge first," he said, hating how ragged his voice was.

"Fine!" she shouted, swiping her cloth over the wood. "Now get your stinking hand off me, you brute!"

He dropped her. The wench went sprawling to the ground. Minus her pants. Sesshomaru blinked. Apparently, his claws had snagged the flimsy material and now it hung lay in two pieces on the ground.

His eyes trailed down to the fuming woman. All the kept her from being bare to him was a thin, nearly translucent triangle of silky pink fabric. He could _see_ her. And smell her.

Sesshomaru knew he should flee before all self control slipped through his fingers like sand. So, he opened his mouth to insult her before leaving.

He stopped.

The wench was crying.

"You jerk," she sniffed. "You ruined my shorts!"

He didn't get what was so important about a pair of indecent pants. "Silence. This Sesshomaru will provide you with clothes befitting your station."

"What? As slave? No thanks. I have my own clothes! My mother gave me those, you asshole! My mother…the woman I will NEVER see again. I hate you." Tears coursed down her flushed cheeks. He watched with growing discomfort as she swiped at them angrily.

"Perhaps…they can be mended?" he offered lamely.

Kagome snatched the pieces of her clothes and clutched them to her chest. "Maybe. But that's not the point."

He arched a brow at her. Truly, humans and their petty sentimentalities confounded him. "Oh? And what, pray tell, is the point?" 

She rose to her feet. Standing there, angry tears gleaming in her expressive eyes, her hair tumbling around her shoulders…she was beautiful. It was the first time he'd noticed just how lovely she really was. He didn't like it.

"The point is, you don't care about anyone save yourself." She shrugged. "I don't know why I bother." Kagome turned away, offering him a view of her mostly bare backside. The underthing she was wearing was merely a strip of thin cloth that ran between the cheeks of her perfect ass.

Sesshomaru grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around. "I told you never to turn your back on this Sesshomaru." He'd tried to sound menacing, but his voice ended up sounding strangled.

She swatted at his hand. "Stop man-handling me!"

He pulled her to him, hooking a finger under her chin to force her angry gaze to his face. "Why? You like it. Don't bother lying. I can smell it."

"I do not like it! I don't want to be treated like that! What woman would? Are you that dense? Can't you be nice? Where I'm from, when a man falls in love with a woman, he gives her gifts and flowers, takes her out to eat, shopping, that sort of thing. He doesn't rip her clothes off until much later in the relationship! And he certainly doesn't throw her around like rag doll! Where I'm from, men don't hurt the women they care about!" She was yelling in his face, trembling in her anger.

"Love?" he sneered, the word tasting bitter on his tongue. "Have you been out in the sun too long, woman? This Sesshomaru said nothing about love."

Her entire body went stiff, and Sesshomaru got the distinct impression he'd just said the wrong thing and quite possibly ruined his chances of getting the miko to spank him silly, forever. He had to think fast. He had to find something to say that wasn't humiliating or damaged his pride too much. If only he could think properly! His blood was concentrated somewhere far from his head.

He took in a steadying breath. "However, this Sesshomaru…." He swallowed. Kami, this was difficult. He was glad there was no one to see him make a fool of himself. He certainly hoped the miko was worth it. "does not discount the possibility at some point in the unforeseen future." The last bit he said very quickly.

The wench pushed him away. "Stop making fun of me. I know your type. There's no need to lie to me. You never had a chance anyway."

All right. Now, he was angry. He'd just lowered himself to cater to a human woman's ridiculous emotions, and she'd brushed them aside and insulted him to boot. How dare she?

"If this Sesshomaru never had a chance, then you are playing a dangerous game, wench. It is most unwise to tease a taiyoukai." He pushed her down, not caring about the hurt he saw in her eyes. None-to-gently, he lowered himself on top of her, grinding his hips into her groin. Let her see what she was doing to him, let her know the consequences of her childish behavior.

"Stop it!" she hissed, turning her face away from him.

He nipped at her chin, demanding her submission even though that was the last thing he wanted. "Your mouth says one thing, but your body says another," he whispered.

The miko went limp. "I won't lie, Sesshomaru. I think you're attractive. I guess I'm pretty dumb…I should know better. I should've known you were just a cold-hearted jerk that only wanted one thing from me. I just hoped differently. I guess I deserve whatever I get for being so damn stupid."

In a flash he was off her and on his feet. He stared down at her coldly, ignoring the pang of regret in his gut. "All this Sesshomaru wants from you is a clean home. Time is wasting. You'd best get to work."

Then Sesshomaru did a very cowardly thing and ran away.

**SSSS**

It had been two days. Two days since he'd last seen the woman.

He'd spent every bit of that time drinking himself into a stupor and completely depleting his supply of sake and wine. He felt miserable.

He wondered what had been going through his mind when he'd captured the miko in the first place? Ah…his brother. Er…half brother. He'd wanted to annoy him.

Yet, he'd heard nothing from InuYasha. Not even a rumor, and he'd had the miko in his possession for five days.

"She isn't the miserable hanyou's woman after all," he mused, kicking an empty sake bottle with a bare foot. He sent it skittering across the floor where it smashed against the wall, shattering into a million pieces.

He had to form a new plan. The plan to Make the Miko Miserable had made him miserable instead. Oh, he was fairly certain she wasn't happy either, but what was the fun in both of them being upset? His victory was hollow. Sesshomaru had never been very good at suffering. He simply couldn't allow it to continue.

The miko's words played over and over again in his mind. _"Where I'm from, when a man falls in love with a woman, he gives her gifts and flowers, takes her out to eat, shopping, that sort of thing. He doesn't rip her clothes off until much later in the relationship! And he certainly doesn't throw her around like rag doll! Where I'm from, men don't hurt the women they care about!"_

Sesshomaru winced as though she were standing right there yelling it at him again.

"Yes well, this Sesshomaru doesn't care about anyone, you said so yourself, woman," he drawled. "I don't recall youkai women being so much trouble. A good beating and they're writhing on the ground naked."

But of course, she was human. A good beating would kill her most likely.

"True, true," he reasoned.

What would be the harm in getting her a few stupid flowers? Or perhaps a nice kimono? Maybe she fancied jewels? He didn't know what she meant by taking her out to eat…did she mean a picnic? He supposed eating outdoors had a certain romantic charm. Such things were easy for one of his influence and wealth.

"If the stupid wench wants such petty things, so be it!" he said.

She should've told him from the beginning if he wanted her in his bed he'd have to do these tasks. He wasn't a mind reader!

Everything to his liquor laden brain was making perfect sense now. The miko had some affection for him, she'd said as much. Sesshomaru knew what he needed to do.

"Accusing this Sesshomaru of wanting only one thing indeed," he smirked. "No, no, miko. I will have it all."

Meanwhile, Kagome was completely ignorant of his plans and was making new plans of her own.

The palace was clean. Everything in order.

She leaned against the wall outside in the courtyard, wiping the sweat from her brow. Kagome sighed. "Now, I'll get to rest before Mr. Jerkface's friends get here. First, I'm going to have a nice hot bath. Then, I'm going to get the hell out of here."

"Kagome?" a familiar voice said.

She looked up, startled to see Kouga coming down the path.

Well, she thought it was Kouga. He had the same bright blue eyes the color of spring skies and robin's eggs. He had the same ruggedly handsome tanned face, but that's where the similarities ended.

Gone was the high ponytail and headband. His hair was tied back at the nape of his neck and he was wearing a dark navy kimono of rich silk. Kagome stifled a giggle. Never in all her days could she have imagined Kouga dressing up. What the hell was he doing here?

Before she could open her mouth to ask him, he enfolded her in a rib crushing embrace, his hand stroking her sweaty hair. "It's so good to see you, Kagome," he breathed. "I've missed my woman."

Somewhere in the palace, Kagome heard something that sounded suspiciously like furniture being thrown around.

_A/N: Hurray! I know, I know. I've promised a lemon. It will be soon, my friends. But that's all I'm saying. Chapter 15 of Spark will be up tonight/early tomorrow morning. Still editing the bugger. It's a long one too._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Wolf by the Ears

Sesshomaru stared at the elegant chair made of glossy ebony wood he'd just smashed into a dozen pieces. He knew he was still drunk and that maybe greeting the son of the Lord of the East in such a state was a bad idea given his current state.

But screw it.

He stormed…well, staggered out into the courtyard. The bastard wolf had his grubby mitts all over the miko. On her very nice ass, an ass he'd decided not moments before was his. Kouga was nuzzling her neck, saying ridiculous things like, "My love for you has only multiplied in your absence." And, "Come back with me and be my woman for real."

And the miko…. Sesshomaru growled so loud the shoji screens behind him rattled. She was giggling and blushing prettily. The only blushes he'd gotten out of the miko had been embarrassment or rage.

"Oh, Kouga-kun, I've missed you too!" Her voice dripped with honey. She'd certainly never talked to him that way. He realized with mounting despair that he was actually jealous of the mangy wolf.

With growing fury, he watched the sneaky wolf's eyes slide over to him. When Kouga saw Sesshomaru, he gave him a cheeky grin and then planted his lips right over the miko's.

It was Sesshomaru's turn to smile. The idiot wolf had just signed his own death warrant. His hand glowed with a green haze of poison. He licked his lips, anticipating the coming bloodshed.

The miko beat him to it. She drew back her fist and pounded the top of the wolf's head.

"Ouch! What the hell did you do that for, Kagome?" Kouga cried, staggering backwards, rubbing the top of his head.

"Because!" she snapped. "I'm tired of stupid demon men slobbering all over me! You didn't even ask if it was okay to kiss me! Really, Kouga! For shame!"

"Sorry," Kouga mumbled. Then he gazed up at her with that limpid, stupid, adoring look on his face. "What're you doing here, Kagome? And why do you smell like that prick?"

"Kouga-kun…I don't think Sesshomaru would like you calling him a prick."

"Pfft. As if I care. You're avoiding the question."

The miko sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. "Well…if I tell you, you have to promise not to do anything stupid. Okay?"

Sesshomaru decided it was high time he put a stop to their little reunion. They both had to know that he was there, and ignoring him was unacceptable. He wouldn't stand for it. Trying not to stumble over his own feet, Sesshomaru made his grand entrance. Both the miko and the wolf looked at him as though his face had turned green.

"Sesshomaru!" the miko looked concerned. She reached out a hand as though to steady him. Sesshomaru jerked away from her touch…even though he wanted it very badly. He nearly toppled over. "What's the matter? You look _terrible!_ Are you sick?" Her eyes had gone all soft and every bit of her attention was focused on him…where it belonged.

_Couldn't hurt to play it up a bit. Might keep that disgusting wolf away from her_, he thought, suppressing a grin. "This Sesshomaru…is not feeling himself," he muttered. For effect, he closed his eyes and put a hand to his forehead.

"Bah!" Kouga roared. "Demons don't get sick!"

Sesshomaru cracked an eye to see the miko whirl on the wolf, her fists clenched. "Shut up, Kouga! Look at him! His skin is all pale and sickly! He's got dark circles under his eyes! Something is the matter with him!" Her cool hands pressed against his cheeks. "And he's burning up!" Her voice was becoming shrill again. The wolf flinched. "Do you have a headache, Sesshomaru? Does your tummy hurt?"

His tummy? Really, perhaps this was a bit much. He was starting to feel humiliated. But then, that damned wolf started inching closer to HIS miko again, eyeing her backside. Sesshomaru groaned and clenched his eyes shut.

Her arms were around him, guiding and pushing him back into the palace. "Sorry, Kouga, we'll have to catch up on old times later," she said over her shoulder.

Sesshomaru reminded himself to groan a few more times as she led him back to his room and eased him onto his futon.

Kagome eyed all the empty bottles in Sesshomaru's room in dismay. There had to be at least a hundred. No wonder he felt terrible.

"You're drunk," she said with disdain.

"Was drunk," he said, his arm flopped over his eyes.

"Why don't you just admit that Jaken dying upset you? It'd be a lot healthier than just drinking the grief away."

He made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat.

"You just need to sleep it off. I'm leaving. As in, I finished your task. Your palace is all clean. I held up my end of the bargain."

"No."

"What?" she cried loudly, not caring if it hurt his ears.

"This Sesshomaru has yet to acquire new servants. You will stay until I do so. In a few days, the rest of the lords will arrive. You will serve them."

"No way. This is ridiculous! I'm going!"

"You're staying."

"Going!"

"Miko," he growled in warning.

"Youkai," she said.

"You will address me properly with the respect I deserve."

If they were going to behave childishly, Kagome reasoned she might as well go whole hog. "Make me."

His arm slid from his face, and he gave her an odd look. What he said next was so evil and devious that she decided that she hated him after all. "Rin will miss you if you go."

"H-hey! That's not fair!" Kagome said, picturing Rin crying her eyes out.

"She will not know what to do with herself should you go."

"Stop it!" Kagome hissed.

"She might take up drinking on a regular basis."

She narrowed her eyes. "Wait a minute…are we still talking about Rin?"

"Of course."

"Hn." Kagome wanted to slap herself for taking up his speech patterns, but she finally understood what it meant when he said it. It meant, "You are full of shit and make me so tired this is the best response I can muster."

"Rin has been lonely. For a long time. Perhaps she is sorry for being contrary and unpleasant. Perhaps if you were to give her another chance, she might make it up to you," he said, his face totally serious.

"You know, Sesshomaru, that has to be the most pathetic apology I've ever heard. You can't bear to say it, can you? Well, whatever. I'll stay with Rin for a little while longer. But only because of Rin, not because of you. You are crazy, emotionally retarded, mean, and violent. You know, I'm actually glad Kouga is here. At least he's nice…if a bit pushy."

Sesshomaru snorted. "This Sesshomaru was under the impression that pushy, slobbering, male demons offended you, miko."

He had her there. It was offensive! She was tired of not getting to decide, tired of men deciding things for her. She knew it was common place in the feudal era, but damn it! She thought chivalry would be more common too.

"Where I'm from, women get to pick what man they want. It is a mutual decision between two interested parties."

Sesshomaru seemed to be actually listening. She wondered what he was up to.

"So, the male must shower the female with gifts at great personal expense and then wait around for her to decide if that is good enough? That does not seem a fair trade, miko."

"Well, it's better than your system. Your idea of courting is drunkenly tackling a woman, hurling insults and meat at her, playing dead, feeding her a faceful of mud, and ripping her clothes off," Kagome huffed, crossing her arms.

"Youkai courtship does not involve any of the things you named, you ignorant, miserable wench," he said, sitting up and pointing his finger at her.

"No?"

"Most certainly not."

"What does it involve then? Beating the crap out of each other?" Kagome laughed.

Sesshomaru remained oddly silent.

Kagome gasped. "It does! That's sad."

"It is not 'sad', miko. It is the natural way. And, I might add, it saves time and money."

"But what about the romance! What about slow kisses under a full moon on a summer night! What about saying the girl looks pretty and putting a flower behind her ear? What about holding hands and walking on a deserted beach?" Kagome lamented.

"A youkai female would not be impressed by such sentimental drivel."

Kagome stood, raising her chin. "Well, I'm glad I'm a worthless human then. Poor youkai girls! They're missing out."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed and he smirked at her. "Oh? And did my worthless half-brother provide you with such 'romance'?"

All the color drained from her face. She didn't even want to dignify that with an answer, but she couldn't keep from it. "No. And that's why we didn't work out. Not that it's any of your business. I don't know why you have to be so damned mean. I'm going to go have lunch with Kouga. Maybe we'll have a nice picnic."

With that, she stomped out of his room, slamming shut the shoji screen behind her.

When she found Kouga, he was exactly where she'd left him. Kagome had to admit…he cleaned up pretty well. He looked so handsome in that navy kimono. It really set off his tan beautifully. And judging by his smell, he'd bathed recently too. Which was also a plus.

Upon reflection, Kouga wasn't that bad. He was cute…okay, he was hot. And he'd given her some flowers once, so he was at least willing to try. He'd pursued her for years. His compliments were nice.

So why did she feel like she had to talk herself into a relationship with him? There wasn't much about him not to like…save the temper…and he wasn't all that bright really.

When he saw her, his face lit up in a bright smile. He had dimples. She was a sucker for dimples.

"You never did answer me. What are you doing here, Kagome? Dog crap's brother hasn't been treating you badly, has he?" Kouga asked, taking her hands his rough calloused ones.

Kagome laughed nervously. "Well…heh…I was taking a bath right? And this snake youkai attacked me. Sesshomaru just happened to be in the area and he killed the demon. Which was nice, I guess, but then he said I owed him for saving my life and said I had to repay him by cleaning his palace." Kagome leaned forward. "And you wouldn't believe how filthy and nasty it was! I was really shocked."

Kouga snarled. "You're too good to be treated like his slave, Kagome! You should've purified his ass."

"Yeah," she said. "But I guess I felt kind of sorry for him for some reason."

"You've always been too nice."

She sighed. "I know."

Kouga's nose brushed against her cheek. She felt uncomfortable. What if he tried to kiss her again? She was really tired of having to hit people for them to get the damn point. Instead, he just sniffed her. "You smell like him. Has that asshole been forcing himself on you?" Kouga's voice was low and dangerous.

"No!" _Well, not really_, she thought. "We've been…um…fighting."

"Huh?"

"He insults me, I insult him back…then he threw an entire deer at me." She left out the bit about touching herself in front of him. Kagome didn't even want to think about that. "Then I dumped some ashes and soot on his hair. He retaliated by flinging raw meat at me. After that…we might've rolled around and wrestled a little. Perfectly innocent, really." Even to her, that sounded ridiculous.

It must've sounded ridiculous to Kouga too, because the wolf doubled over in raucous laughter, clutching his belly. "I can't believe it!" he howled in mirth. "That piece of shit has a thing for you!"

Kagome dismissed the notion with a wave of her hand. "No." She laughed. "No."

"I bet his old man is really laughing it up in the afterlife! I wish InuYasha was here right now! That'd be priceless!"

Kagome shook her head. "No, that would be lethal."

Kouga gave her a…wolfish grin. "Exactly. I'd pay to see that fight."

"Well, I can't blame Sesshomaru for falling in love with you, Kagome," he said, his voice husky.

She blushed. "Oh, Kouga-kun…come on. He's not in love with me! I mean…he can't be. Could he?"

Kouga pulled away, frowning. "Kagome?"

"What?"

He sighed heavily, shoulders stooping. "I always come too late."

She laughed. "What are you talking about?"

"You're in love with him too!" he cried. "I can tell. He won't treat you right! You need to stay away from dogs for a change. I'd treat you better!"

"You probably would, Kouga." She gave him a weak rueful smile.

Kagome felt like crying. Kouga was right. Somehow, when she wasn't paying attention, she'd fallen for Sesshomaru in the worst way. She was convinced there was something wrong with her. Why couldn't she fall in love with a nice boy like Hojo…or even Kouga? Okay, so Kouga wasn't all that nice, but he was a hell of a lot nicer than Sesshomaru.

Before she could admit defeat and beg Kouga to give her some advice, Sesshomaru rounded the corner, eyes blazing in fury.

_A picnic?_ Sesshomaru thought in horror. That wouldn't do! He was supposed to take the stupid miko on a picnic! That wolf was ruining his plans. Sesshomaru scrambled to make preparations. He'd be damned if he lost a woman to some wolf whelp. Not on his damn watch.

He heard them talking before he saw them. That idiot had the audacity to laugh at him.

And then Sesshomaru realized he was right.

Somehow, his intense burning hatred for the woman had turned into something completely opposite from the comfortable feeling of revulsion.

_But_, he thought, _at least the miko is in the same predicament._ Not that it made him feel any better.

"You probably would, Kouga," she said.

That was the last straw. He'd officially had it. Sesshomaru rounded the corner and pointed a finger at the miko.

"You!" he barked. "Will join this Sesshomaru for lunch."

She gaped at him.

"Now," he said.

Her cheeks were stained pink in anger. "No! I'm having lunch with Kouga-kun!"

His youki whipped about him, making the air waver like heat-shimmer. The wolf blanched, taking a step back.

"You go ahead and have lunch with Sesshomaru…uh sama. I'm not hungry. Really. We can have lunch tomorrow-"

Sesshomaru shot him an icy glare.

"Or you know, never. I'm going for a walk. See you later, Kagome!" The wolf sped off in a cloud of dust. Even without the Shikon shards, the bastard was still pretty fast.

Judging by the venomous look on her face, Sesshomaru thought perhaps he should've handled that with a little more finesse. But he was tired of playing games with her. They were fun for awhile, but she had started being a bad sport, what with the crying and being honestly angry with him.

"How dare you treat my friend that way?" she asked, voice tremulous, her hands shaking.

He wasn't sure how to respond. He was fairly certain any answer he gave her would just make her more angry. Sesshomaru sensed he was walking a very fine line.

He decided to stick with simply repeating himself. "You will come with me," he ground out. "And have lunch."

"No!"

"I command you."

"Shove it up your ass!" she screeched, stomping her foot.

"I doubt the feast I have prepared will fit, miko."

She laughed, but it was bitter and lacked mirth. "You're right. I doubt you could fit anything else. The big stick you've crammed in there is taking up too much room!"

"Correct me if I am wrong, miko, but I thought you told me that men where you're from treat their women to lunch."

"I'm not your woman for starters. And they usually ask, not command. And they don't scare off their friends. You are hopeless!" The set of her jaw, her crossed arms, her jutting hip, they were all challenging him. To do what exactly, he wasn't sure. But Sesshomaru never backed down from a challenge.

He just wished this was something he could win by simply melting the obstacle, or ripping its head off, or scaring it into submission. He knew that those tactics would be met with failure. And her probable demise.

"You will not be disappointed if you join me," he said. It was as near to "asking nicely" as he could get. And it still hurt his pride and fouled his already bad mood.

It worked like a charm. The anger left her face and she looked curious. "Oh?"

He turned his back on her to hide his grin of triumph. He had her now. "It would be a shame to waste my efforts of appreciating your odd and ridiculous customs."

He heard her grumble, curse, then sigh. "Fine! Fine, I'll go."

Sesshomaru was certain his hasty, thrown together effort would effectively destroy her resistance. At least, it had better. Sexual tension was fun until it drove you crazy and made you forget yourself.

_A/N: Only two chapters of this fic left. I'd meant it to be about four chapters long, but got carried away. The next chapter may/may not contain a lemon. It will either be the next or the last chapter. And it will be unapologetically dirty. As dirty as I can make it. I mean, after all that trouble, they sorta deserve it._

_Thank ya kindly for the reviews on this one_!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

**Pretty**

A little girl tugged on the sleeve of Kouga's kimono. He jerked it out of her grubby fingers.

He knew who she was…Rin, the human ward of Sesshomaru, but that didn't mean she got to put her sticky hands on him. "Whaddaya want, brat?"

The child seemed unfazed by the insult. "Are you Kagome's friend?"

"Yeah. So what?"

The girl smiled. "Then you can't be as bad as Sesshomaru-sama says! He says you're a stinky, mannerless, ugly, dumb, wolf. But I bet you're very nice if you have Kagome as a friend!" the child said brightly.

Kouga snorted. "Don't count on it, kid. Kagome's nice to everyone. Even Sesshomaru."

Rin nodded solemnly. "Kagome is very kind and pretty. I hope Sesshomaru-sama will marry her. That way, I can have a real mommy and daddy like I used to." Rin's brow furrowed and she looked on the verge of tears. "But Sesshomaru-sama is mean to Kagome sometimes. He tore her pants and it made her cry."

Kouga coughed and sputtered. What had that asshole been doing tearing Kagome's clothes off? Wait…damn. He knew what'd he'd been doing. Lucky bastard. "Bah, don't worry, kid. They're called lover's quarrels. They ain't real fights. It actually means they like each other."

Rin's eyes got as big as dinner plates, her little mouth in an "o". "So calling someone Kagome a useless, shrieking, ill-mannered, wench is Sesshomaru-sama saying he likes Kagome?"

The wolf gave her a nervous chuckle. "Somethin' like that. Sure."

The little girl patted his arm. "See? You are nice."

"Yeah, I guess," Kouga muttered, wishing Sesshomaru and Kagome would come back so that he would have better company…on second thought, the kid was a better conversationalist than the ice prince.

Rin shuffled her feet, batting her big brown eyes at him. Kouga got nervous. "Say…Kouga-sama?"

He backed up a step. "What?"

"You have very pretty hair…and I like your tail."

Kouga narrowed his eyes.

"Would you please let Rin play with your tail and your hair? I could brush it and put ribbons in it! You would look very pretty if-"

"No way!" he shouted…instantly regretting it.

Rin's shoulders drooped. "It's just that…since…since…Master Jaken died…Rin hasn't had anyone to play with," she said, wiping her dirty hand across her cheek.

"Aw, geez, kid…don't cry."

She hiccupped as more tears snaked their way down her cute little face.

Kouga looked around to make sure no one was nearby to see him humiliate himself. He knelt in front of the girl, taking her by the shoulders. "Okay, okay! You can…play with my hair. Just don't go tellin' anybody, deal?"

The tears were gone so fast, Kouga began to wonder if she'd even been that upset. "Deal, Kouga-sama!"

Before he could protest, the child grabbed him by the hand and dragged him back to the palace, all the while extolling the virtues of his "cute" tail.

**SSSS**

Kagome was about to make good on her threat to purify Sesshomaru once and for all. She had thought, foolishly of course, that he would lead her by the hand to go and have lunch with her under a cherry tree…or something picturesque. It would be a lovely lunch, they might share a kiss or he could proclaim his growing affection for her on bended knee.

But no.

He threw her over his shoulder, bruising her sternum in the process. It hurt like hell. And he didn't seem to care at all. Typical.

They flew for a long time, until it was nearly evening. She was starving, cold, dirty, and all the blood had rushed to her head from being carried in such an undignified manner.

She'd closed her eyes to keep the rushing of the landscape beneath her from making her dizzy. She really didn't want to puke all over Sesshomaru's hakama.

The smell of salt and the rush of the water filled her senses. Where on earth had he dragged her to?

When her bottom collided with a sandy surface, she had her answer. Sand was now lodged inside her newly mended shorts, getting into all sorts of uncomfortable places.

Kagome stood up, rubbing her chest and sore ass. "I don't see lunch, Sesshomaru."

"Patience, miko," he said. "I would recommend that you appreciate the lovely view of a…how did you put it? Ah yes, a deserted beach. I shall return shortly."

She sputtered incoherently at his retreating figure. He zipped along the shore line, silver hair whipping behind him. _He makes running look dramatic_, she thought with a roll of her eyes.

Then, much to her dismay, he began stripping out of his clothes. All right, so a part of her was excited. But it was a small part. The rest of her was suitably scandalized.

And…he was naked.

"Oh…oh my," she breathed. Every part of him…save the unfortunate arm bit, was perfect. He looked like he was carved out of marble by someone who really knew and appreciated the male form. His muscle tone, the slight dip in the small of his back, his thighs…every inch of him was so beautiful it made her ache.

Kouga may have had dimples when he smiled…but she was pretty sure she liked Sesshomaru's dimples better. _That's the best ass I've ever seen!_ Kagome marveled, watching in fascination as he walked to the edge of the ocean. He ruined her admiration of his backside by looking over his shoulder at her. It was then that Kagome took particular interest in her bare toes and the way the damp sand squished between them.

She heard a splash, and when she looked up, he was gone.

"What is he doing?" she wondered.

Unwittingly, she held her breath. When her chest grew tight, she expelled it in a puff. He'd sure been under the water for a long time. But then, he was youkai, and she betted he could hold his breath way longer than she could. _He must have some stamina_, she thought…which led her to thinking about the applications of said stamina.

Long minutes dragged by, and she began to actually worry. Kagome rushed to the water's edge, her fists clenched.

"Come on, you jerk!" she said under her breath. "Stop showing off." Panic bubbled in her chest, she hated that feeling. What in the hell was he doing? Trying to scare her to death?

Just as she peeled off her shirt and shorts and was about to leap into the water, Sesshomaru broke the surface of the waves, his long silver hair plastered to his face and down his back and chest.

Blinking the salt water out of his golden eyes, his lips curved into a smirk. His gaze trailed from the top of her head to her toes in a slow, burning sweep. He arched a brow at her. "My, my, miko. Had I any idea your methods were so effective, I would've brought you to the beach long ago."

"What?" she said, puzzled. Then she looked down at herself and realized she'd removed her clothes in order to jump into the ocean to save him from drowning. Shrieking in indignity, Kagome threw her arms over her chest. His gaze settled on her crotch instead.

Hastily bending over, Kagome pulled her shorts back on. "Look," she said, her back half-turned to him. "That was really mean! You scared me. You were under the water for a really long time."

A clawed hand was thrust under her nose. His palm contained three perfect pearls. "I was occupied," he said, amusement at her expense coloring his normally bland tone.

Forgetting she was just in her bra and shorts, Kagome squealed in delight. "These are for me?"

"Hn."

"Wow," she breathed. "Thank you."

He turned on his heel, again presenting her with a lovely view of his backside, and jumped once again into the ocean.

"Hey! Where are you going now?" But his head dipped under the water. Clutching the pearls in her hand, she sat back on the sand and waited for him to return.

When he burst from the water again like some silver god born from the waves, he tossed some fish..minus their heads, onto the shore. He narrowly missed hitting her square between the eyes, but that was only because Kagome had been half way expecting it.

"I guess that's lunch?" she asked with a wry grin.

He only nodded. Kagome pressed the back of her hand to her mouth to keep from giggling. He was really being awfully sweet. And while she really liked the attention…she rather missed arguing and yelling at him. There was just something about shaking your finger in a creature's face who could melt you if he so chose. It had been exhilarating.

Kagome turned away as Sesshomaru slipped his hakama back on. When she turned back around, he was deftly gutting the fish with his claws. It amazed her that he only had one arm…because half the time she forgot. It really hadn't seemed to affect him at all.

He then made a small fire from wood he collected along the wooded shore. He roasted one of the fish and began to eat one raw much to her horror and dismay.

"I prefer my food untouched and unspoiled," he said, neatly dabbing at a thin trickle of fish blood seeping out of the corner of his mouth.

They ate their meal in silence as the sun set over the ocean. Sesshomaru mostly stared at the line of trees over her head, his gaze a little unfocused. Had she not know him better, she would've said he looked almost wistful.

"So," she began, feeling oddly uncomfortable, "What brought all this on?"

His gaze snapped to her face. Kagome gulped. He looked annoyed. She wasn't sure how she knew he looked annoyed as his facial features hadn't really moved, but she swore she saw something akin to annoyance flash in the golden depths of his eyes. Then he sighed. "The moon is full, miko."

She twisted around, looking over her shoulder. "So it is."

Kagome really didn't understand what he was driving at.

When she looked back at him, he was standing, his hair a bit stringy from the salt water. "You will walk with me," he said, not offering her his hand to help her get up.

"There you go, bossing me around again," she grumbled. "Oh well. It really is a nice night. A walk would do me some good."

As they walked he still remained silent. It was beginning to get on her nerves. She knew he wasn't a chatterbox like she was, but surely he could think of something to say. Kagome wondered what he was thinking as she studied his still features.

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru was mentally cheering himself and giving himself many pats on the back. He was doing so well. He had her now. She was staring longingly at his face. The miko would soon be begging him to kiss her…and more. And he would. He had but one thing left on her little list of mating requirements, and then she was his.

So far, fate had cooperated quite nicely with him…for once. He'd couldn't have picked a better time for an impromptu get away. The moon was full, the air was warm and scented with night-blooming flowers. Now…if he could only find one of the bastard flowers, his trials would be at their end.

A soft pink on a sharp embankment caught his eye. He was so relieved to finally be able to rid himself of the ridiculous sentimental customs that he nearly knocked Kagome down to get to the blossom. With great care so that he didn't shred it with his claws, he picked the solitary bloom and leaped down to stand in front of her.

She was sputtering, her cheeks flushed with anger. It made him smile despite himself. Raising his chin proudly, Sesshomaru placed the blossom behind her ear. At least it silenced her screeching.

The next part wasn't quite so easy. It wasn't that he didn't find the wench attractive. He did…but maybe not for the reasons she would care to hear. He still found her human form lacking and somewhat plain. It was her inner fire, her lack of fear that drew him to her in the first place. That and he'd never had so much fun as he'd had while tormenting her.

He didn't want to repeat her words directly back to her, that wouldn't do at all. And he didn't want to lie. But then he didn't want to compliment the only part of her he couldn't get out of his mind. While she did have a perfect ass, he wasn't so sure women appreciated those types of comments.

Sesshomaru scrutinized her face. The light of the moon did give it a certain charm he supposed. He did rather like the way it made her large eyes sparkle. Yes, that would do.

He opened his mouth. And nothing. It was just humiliating! Surely she knew by now what he wanted. He'd gone to an enormous amount of trouble. But one look at her guileless face, he began to doubt that she did know. Maybe it would be easier to say if he shut his eyes.

"Miko…ah…Kagome," yes it was better to use her name. "The moonlight shimmering in your eyes is most captivating." It made him cringe, but at last, he'd done it. Sesshomaru opened his eyes.

The wench was grinning like a fool, her cheeks pinked, her lips moist as though she'd just licked them. Now, this part he could do with ease.

Sesshomaru grasped the back of her head and gently pulled her towards him. She didn't even whimper in protest. Perfect.

As he bent to capture her lips in a tender kiss, the wench ruined the entire thing. By speaking, of course.

"Sesshomaru?"

He suppressed a growl of fury. "What?"

"I…I think I should tell you something."

He shook his head. "Not necessary," he bit out. He had to think of a way to silence her before his chance was gone.

She pushed against his chest, unable to look him in the eye, her chin tucked to her chest. Damn it!

The air was scented with the sharp salty tang of her tears. Sesshomaru wanted to kill something. Why, in the name of all that was fair and good, was the ridiculous woman crying?

She sniffled. "This is hard."

Sesshomaru's temples felt tight, his blood too hot. He wasn't going to like what she had to say, he could feel it.

The miko took in a deep breath and raised her tear streaked face. "I think I'm falling in love with you!" she exclaimed softly.

**SSSS**

Kagome shut her eyes, her breath shallow, her heart thundering in her ears.

She thought maybe she shouldn't have said it, but she just had to. The night was too perfect, too romantic not to say anything.

And he had gone to all that trouble, she should be honest with him.

But he wasn't saying anything back.

She was fairly certain she'd die if he didn't say anything back.

Kagome opened her eyes.

The bastard was gone.

Her potential heartbreak was vanquished when she realized he'd just left her in the middle of nowhere. Kagome had no idea where she was. And he'd left her there! All alone. With no shoes. And the night air had taken a turn for the chilly. Her tank top wasn't going to cut it.

Her tears dried in the furnace of her anger. "I'm going to kill him!" she shouted. Kagome threw back her head and gave an inarticulate scream of pure rage. "Fucking cowardly piece of crap!" She stamped her foot so hard it hurt her teeth. "Oh…oh, I'm going to hunt him down like the dog he is. Then! Then, I'm going to kill him. I mean it. I'm going to purify him until there isn't even ash left. Oooh, that jerk! What's the matter with him?" All the while she spoke, she stomped down the beach, up the embankment, and into the woods.

"Dragging me all the way out here, that no good son of a…and you know what?" she demanded of no one in particular. "I mean, how's a girl supposed to feel? Huh? He teases me and walks around with his hair and his ass and then he brings me out here…giving me presents, why that asshole! To think I was going to actually have sex with him!" She snorted. "Well, ha, no way! Not ever! I'd rather have sex with…with…." Kagome looked around the forest. Her noisy antics had drawn the attention of several low level youkai. They eyed her warily, probably wondering if the screeching she beast was good eating or not. Her gaze settled on a gigantic slug youkai. "Ha!" she said pointing to it. "I'd rather have sex with you than with Sesshomaru!"

The slug glowed a bright blue, then made its way over to her. It gurgled at her. Kagome blinked. It made a funny mewling sound and rubbed up against her side, coating her with slug snot. Kagome shrieked and backed away from it.

"You seem distraught, woman," it said in a voice that sounded like it was trying to hack up phlegm.

Kagome put her hands on her hips. "Well, I am actually."

"What's the trouble, my lady?" the slug asked her, swiveling its eye stalks at her, a sympathetic look swirling in the pink irises.

She sighed. "Well, there's this…um youkai I like…okay maybe love, and he brought me out here for a romantic evening. But then I told him that I loved him, and the asshole ran away like a little girl." Only after she finished answering the slug did Kagome realize how ridiculous it was that she was talking to it in the first place.

The slug bobbed its head in the perfect parody of a nod. "Ah. He is afraid of his feelings. Typical man. I too…lost someone for fear of my feelings."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Kagome said.

"So…," the slug drawled. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," Kagome answered weakly, her shoulders sagging, tears stinging her eyes. "I want to chase after him and give him a piece of my mind…."

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

She sighed again. "Yeah, but…he brought me an awfully long way. It'll take me at least a week to walk back to his palace."

The slug gave her a gurgling chuckle. "Not necessarily!"

**SSSS**

Sesshomaru busied himself for the next two days preparing for the arrival of the rest of the lords. His first order of business was to hire new servants and guards. They were a rather rag-tag group, but he could fire or kill them after his guests left, so it didn't bother him much.

As busy as he made himself, he could not get the miko out of his mind. Nor could he rid himself of the pang of guilt he felt for leaving her.

But it was for the best.

Really.

He'd been behaving rashly, not using his common sense. His feelings were of no importance and had to be pushed aside…now.

But, oh…how he missed her.

When he was alone, with no one to see him, it was then he could admit how he truly felt about the little miko. How he loved everything about her, even the things he'd been certain he'd hated. Her loud voice. Her crude way of talking. Her lack of manners. The way she smiled at Rin. How when she'd been cleaning, doing the most disgusting drudgery he'd been able to think of, she'd still sing little songs to herself.

He loved her hair. Her skin. Her mouth, her eyes, her legs, and yes…her ass. Sesshomaru loved her so completely it was nearly killing him to deny it.

Rin had come to him, tears standing in her eyes asking him where Kagome was. He couldn't bear to even respond. He'd simply snapped at the child to go and bother someone else.

More than anything, he wished that the miko would just come back. She'd be angry, maybe even hate him. But if he could see her once more….

Sesshomaru shook his head, and composed himself. There was no use in thinking about it. He would have to somehow rid his thoughts of the woman.

A familiar scent tickled his senses, alerting him that another guest had arrived.

He strode into the courtyard and found the wolf prince talking to a beautiful neko youkai. It was the daughter of the Lord of the South.

Sesshomaru frowned. He seemed to recall inviting the lords, not their brats. He sighed. It could not be helped. He wouldn't risk insult by asking the whelps to go home, even if that's what he felt like doing.

The neko youaki saw him and smiled sweetly. "Hello, Sesshomaru-sama! It is a great honor to see you again," she purred, lowering her eyes demurely as she bowed low and gracefully, her kimono swirling about her.

Sesshomaru tapped his chin with a finger. Perhaps the best way to forget the miko…was to bed someone else.

_A/N:Thanks again for the reviews! I'm so happy my odd sense of humor managed to tickle a few funny bones. _

_Spark will not be updated until I finish this one. Have to get the last chapter out of my head! I'm writing it right now…so, late tonight, early tomorrow I'll post the last chapter of What a Mess. _


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

A/N: The last half of this chapter contains sex. If sex offends you or you are too young to read it, then please skip the lemon. I will mark where it begins.

**Punish Me with Kisses**

As he suspected, the neko youkai gave herself to him without so much as a scratch upon his person. He suppressed his disgust at how submissive she was. Her hair, like the miko's was dark…maybe if she turned around he could pretend….

But no. Her smell was wrong. Her skin too flawless and pale. And her ass was far from perfect. It wasn't as round as the miko's. The woman pressed said backside against he groin, urging him, begging him to take her as was his right as an alpha male.

And he wanted to. Sesshomaru was certain this was the only way to rid his thoughts of the miko. Too bad certain parts of him wanted nothing to do with the whole thing. He stared incredulously at that part of his anatomy, willing it to behave properly. It refused.

The neko youkai twisted around and wrapped her slender arms around his neck, pressing her bare breasts against his chest. "What's the matter, Sesshomaru-sama? Do you need a little help?"

Her sickly sweet voice made him want to tear her throat out. As she kissed him, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to think of the miko. It was nice to pretend it was the obnoxious human woman kissing him, running her tongue along the inside of his mouth. So nice, that certain parts of him no longer needed 'help'.

The neko youkai trailed open mouthed kisses down his throat, and he tangled his claws in her hair. She bit down on the flesh of his neck, but not hard enough to break the skin. "Mmm, yes, Kagome," he groaned.

The youkai pushed him away, her eyes sparkling with rage and tears. "I told you my name is Tsuki! _Tsuki_! NOT Kagome!"

He hated her big pouty lips. Sesshomaru hated her smell, her nakedness…everything. He snarled at her. "As though I could mistake a thing such as you for Kagome," he scoffed. "You make me ill. Get out of my chambers at once." He pulled the sheets over his torso then covered his eyes with his arm, not wanting to see her sniffling and dressing. When she was gone, slamming the shoji screen behind her, he let out a shuddering sigh.

Only now when his chance for the release of sexual tension was gone did his cock twitch and grow hard. "Damn," he muttered. "Pathetic," he said.

But he couldn't stop thinking of her. Her lingering scent in his palace was a ghost haunting him. Just the mere thought of her smiling face made him ache with need for her. "Kagome," he breathed, his hand snaking down his stomach, claws teasing his sensitive flesh. He wrapped his long fingers around himself, going slowly. Sesshomaru pictured the miko performing that particular act for him. It arched his back off his futon.

Guilt, shame, remorse, desire, and a haze of lust consumed him. He'd never in the whole of his existence been so distraught and confused. Damn that woman.

He pumped his hand faster, imagining her on top of him, tossing her hair, her pert breasts bouncing in time with her thrusts. With a shuddering moan, he came.

Sesshomaru sat up, feeling more frustrated than sated. He resolved that as soon as the banquet was over, he was going to retrieve the woman and beg for her forgiveness if necessary. And he was fairly certain it was going to be necessary.

"So be it," he said, pulling on his clothes. It wasn't as though he had any shame or pride left as it was. And he didn't care. Anything would be better than the misery he was currently feeling.

"I love the miko," he said to himself with a shake of his head. Sesshomaru laughed thinking that irony could be a real bitch sometimes.

**SSSSS**

Kagome decided that cross-country travel via the inside of a slug wasn't that bad. It was comfortable…if a bit slimy. And the damn thing was speedy. Not as fast as Sesshomaru, but for a slug, she was impressed. But she wouldn't let her comfort spoil her terrible mood.

She still planned on giving Sesshomaru a significant piece of her mind. She pictured him seated calmly in his dining hall entertaining all his youkai friends, and she seethed.

All that was outside the slug's gelatinous body was her head so that she could breathe. She craned her neck, looking for the familiar rise of the palace. The landscape looked familiar at any rate.

"It should be around here, over those hills, Jubei," Kagome said to her new found friend.

Jubei zipped over the hills and slid into the courtyard of the palace. "Do you wish for me to let you off here, my lady?"

Kagome shook her head. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like for you to take me directly into the dining hall. We'll slime up the floors real good. And I sure as hell won't be cleaning them this time!"

The slug chuckled and did as she asked.

Once down a long hall, two guards tried to stop them, but as they rushed the odd pair, they slipped in the slug's silvery slime trail. The doors to the dining hall were closed, but Kagome could hear soft talking and laughter. It only further fueled her rage.

"Can you break the doors down without hurting yourself, Jubei?" she asked.

"I can. My body is quite resilient," the slug said proudly before slamming into the doors.

They burst open in a shower of splinters and slime. Gently, Jubei released Kagome, and she slid out of the creature's body, landing with a soft plop on the floor. Carefully, so as not to slip and fall, she stood. "Jubei, you may want to get out of here. I'm mad enough to kill. Thanks for the ride!" she said brightly.

Jubei gave her a nod and then made his way out of the palace.

Sesshomaru had been sitting at the far end of the table, but now he was standing, his eyes wide in surprise. A soft goofy smile was on his face.

Kagome raised her arm and pointed her finger at him. She dripped slime and goo all over the place. "You!" she shouted, her miko powers flaring around her.

Sesshomaru's guests practically fell over themselves to get away. They fled until their backs were pressed against the wall.

"Miko…Kagome," he said, taking in her form. He wrinkled his nose. "You seem to be…covered in some unpleasant smelling substance."

"Shut up!" she snarled. "I had to travel INSIDE a slug to get here. Why do you think that is, Sesshomaru? Huh?" She paused but not long enough to give him time to answer. Kagome jumped up onto the low table and kicked plates and cups out of her way, smiling as they shattered on the floor. "I'll tell you why! Because you left me on a deserted beach in the middle of nowhere!"

"Kagome, I-"

She shook her head. "OH no! I don't want to hear it, you miserable coward! Were you just going to leave me there forever because you were scared of a little emotion?" She stopped in the middle of the table and picked up a daikon radish. Kagome chucked it at him. Then a cup full of steaming tea. Then a bowl, some chopsticks, anything that was in her reach, she threw at his face. Sesshomaru made no move to dodge any of it, but she could tell he was getting angry.

Kouga had his hand over his mouth, blue eyes twinkling with repressed laughter. An older youkai with a long, trailing, white beard looked completely aghast, and there was a female youkai who was smirking. Kagome wanted to throw things at them too, but decided to focus all her rage where it belonged. On Sesshomaru.

"You are a jerk! I can't believe I was stupid enough to fall for someone so emotionally constipated! I should've known!" she screamed, stamping her foot. The action caused her to slip on all the slime she'd been dripping everywhere. With an 'eep' Kagome's legs slid out from under her and she landed flat on her back. It didn't hurt that badly, but it made her cry all the same.

A strong hand took her under the arm and lifted her to a sitting position. With soup dripping down his face and a radish in his hair, Sesshomaru said, "Kagome…are you all right?"

That was the last straw. Kagome drew back her hand and slapped him as hard as she could. Then she couldn't stop. Over and over she slapped his face until she was sobbing hysterically and her slaps dwindled to nothing more than light taps on his face and shoulders.

Sesshomaru whirled on his guests who were all trying not to snicker and were failing miserable. "Out! Get out of here at once, you wretches!"

As soon as they were gone, he drew her to his chest and rested his chin on the top of her head. "Forgive me."

"Again with the fucking commands! Can't you ever ask me to do anything?" she cried, wetting his haori with her tears.

He shook his head, a displeased growl rumbling in his chest. "You will forgive this Sesshomaru," he insisted.

Kagome laughed. "Oh? And why should I do that? You don't deserve it!"

"Do not make me beg, miko."

She twisted free of his grasp. Did she want him to beg? Would he if she asked? Kagome looked up at his face. He looked tired…and maybe a little sad? She realized he was letting her see how he felt…that maybe he really was sorry and had been just as miserable without her as she'd been without him.

"I won't make you beg, Sesshomaru," she said with a heavy sigh. "I should. But I won't."

"This Sesshomaru appreciates you considering his pride."

She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah well, you're going to have to make it up to me somehow."

He gave her a genuine grin. It scared her a little. "I will," he said, taking her by the hand.

**ssss**

Sesshomaru didn't care about the strange looks he was receiving as he carried the kicking and screaming miko over his shoulder.

His guests had gathered in the courtyard and had been whispering, no doubt about him and his current situation. They fell silent when he walked past them.

"Let me go! Damn you! Let go right now! I am going to purify you so hard your ancestors feel it, you miserable asshole!"

"Cease your prattling, woman. You need a bath," he told her, giving her backside a little pinch.

"Aieeee! Don't do that! I didn't say you could do that! I can bathe myself, thank you very much! I'm a grown woman, you know!"

"Mm, this Sesshomaru knows. But you would deny a man the chance to bathe with the woman he loves?" he asked with a smirk.

His guests let out a collective, scandalized gasp.

The miko, for once, didn't say a word.

**SSSS LEMON STARTS HERE**

Kagome crouched in the spring, the hot water up to her nose. Hungrily, she watched Sesshomaru undress. His intense gaze was fixed on her the entire time. It was then that she made the decision he'd man handled her enough. It was her turn.

Rising out of the water, her shyness over her nudity, replaced by an all consuming hunger, Kagome stepped onto the soft bank. She slid wet hands under his haori, pushing it down his shoulders, revealing the pale expanse of his muscled chest to her greedy eyes.

Sesshomaru leaned forward, his breath hot on the shell of her ear. "This Sesshomaru has been very bad, wouldn't you say?" he whispered.

Kagome smiled. "Yes. You most certainly have. Maybe you should be punished?"

"Mm. Yes. I think I should be…and you should be the one to punish me, miko," he said, pausing to nip at her earlobe.

Feeling empowered, Kagome pushed at him until his back hit the trunk of a tree. "Turn around," she said huskily, loving how he obeyed her. With a feral grin, Kagome divested him of his hakama, jerking them down to his knees.

Kagome bit her lip and shivered at the sight of him. She ran her hands down his back. His skin was so smooth and hot. Cupping his ass in her hands, Kagome gave it a rough squeeze. He gasped.

Well, he wanted to be punished? She wasn't about to let him down. Letting some of her power tingle between her fingers and slide down to the palm of her hand, Kagome drew back her arm and gave his ass a good slap. Tenderly, she massaged the abused cheek before doing it again. And again. And again until she was breathless.

Sinking to her knees, Kagome wrapped her arms around his hips. With long strokes of her tongue, she soothed the red flesh of his backside…but not for long. Kagome bit down, delighting at how he jumped and moaned.

When she looked up, he was gazing over his shoulder at her. His eyes were a glowing red, his lips drawn back from his teeth. Sesshomaru was growling and snarling. He looked so dangerous and wild. It only made her want him more. She turned him around and placed feather-light kisses all over his rock-hard thighs, loving the way his skin tasted.

"I've never done _this_ before," Kagome said against the heated skin of his inner thigh.

He opened his mouth, most likely to ask her what it was that she hadn't done, but his words were lost in a moan of pleasure as his eyes rolled back into his head. Kagome ran her tongue over the head of his cock, flicking it, teasing it before taking all of him into her mouth.

His breath hissed between his clenched teeth. Just the slight of him, with his flushed face, his panting breath, Kagome had to cup herself to relieve some of building pressure between her legs.

She's never been so wet. She wanted terribly to touch herself, knowing that one flick of her finger would send her spiraling over the edge, but holding back was such sweet torture.

"Enough," Sesshomaru said, his voice hard.

Kagome only sucked him harder.

His hand fisted in her hair, and he pulled her off him. Before Kagome could blink or attack him again, Sesshomaru pinned her body to the soft ground with his. He nudged her legs apart with his knee and pressed it into her groin. Kagome threw her head back and moaned. He rested his torso on hers and replaced his knee with his hand. His long fingers parted her, stroked the bundle of nerves that ached for his touched.

"So wet…so ready for me, little miko," he said.

He captured a nipple between his teeth and gave it a light nip. Kagome shattered, coming so violently that it blacked her vision and curled her toes.

Not giving her any time to recover, he thrust into her, rolling his hips so that he hit every spot inside her. Kagome thrashed under him, lost in wave after wave of pleasure.

He ran his tongue along her open lips. Kagome sucked his tongue into her mouth, but another delicious roll of his hips made her scream his name.

Her hands needed something more substantial than the soft dirt. She reached up and grabbed handfuls of his silky hair and pulled until it arched his head back.

Sesshomaru was taking his time, his pace languid. It wasn't enough. Kagome needed more.

"Harder…please! More!" she cried, trying to thrust her hips forward to take him deeper into herself.

Slowly, ever-so-slowly, he pulled out of her, ignoring her cries of protest. Sesshomaru took her by the hip and lifted her, making her turn over and get on her hands and knees.

Her arms and legs shook with her desire. Kagome gasped when she felt his breath tickle the left cheek of her ass. He further surprised her by running his tongue down her ass all the way to her sex. It felt too good to be embarrassing. His soft lips closed around her clit, and he gave it a hard suck.

Kagome collapsed onto her forearms, nearly weeping in her pleasure. He growled, obviously pleased by her submissive posture. The rumble of his voice against her sent her tumbling over the edge, crying out his name.

His arm wrapped around her hips, the flat of his palm pressing against her belly. With a smooth thrust, he was inside her again. Her body clenched around him, still shaking with the after shocks of her last orgasm.

She could tell his self control was slipping. His thrusts lost their slow, sensual rhythm, and quickened to an almost frenzied pace.

He was so deep inside her. So deep that it verged on the edge of pain, but it was a low ache that only added to her pleasure. Kagome tried to meet his thrusts, pushing back against him, looking over her shoulder and licking her lips. But soon, it was all she could to stay up on her hands and knees as he pounded into her.

At last, his body stiffened behind her, and she felt him pulse inside her, emptying his pleasure into her body. Sesshomaru rested his chest on her back, his panting breath tickling her neck.

Gently, he lowered them both to the ground, his softening length still inside her. Kagome snuggled back against him, and he rested his face in the crook of her neck, deeply inhaling. **END OF LEMON**

"I forgive you," she said smiling.

"Then you will stay with me?" he asked her softly before placing little kisses right below her ear that made her shiver.

Kagome grinned. She couldn't help thinking that a terrible mess had turned into something all together unexpected and wonderful. "I didn't travel a hundred miles in a slug for nothing!" she huffed. "Of course I'll stay."

Much to Kagome and Sesshomaru's surprise, a little bush cheered with glee. Kagome thought her first order of business was to teach Rin that it wasn't polite to spy.

**The End**

A/N:'( So that's the end of What a Mess. I hope you all enjoyed it half as much as I enjoyed writing it! It was really too much fun. A nice break from my more serious original stuff.

Thank you reviewers. I love you all bunches! XOXOXOXOXO


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